It was all fun until the ugly "Ma'am" incident

Despite my belief that last night was doomed to be a night filled with disaster, last night was pretty fun.

Marie ended up taking the boys to Build A Bear Workshop. Until now, we have avoided that firy pit of hell by some grace (and skill), but now we're doomed to whining every time we pass by the damn place. I have to admit, though, that Monkey Man did a good job picking out the newest member of our family - a turtle wearing a basketball uniform and holding a basketball. It is really, really cute. So he was pretty ramped up about that this morning and I think missing the monster trucks was kind of lost there in the fuzz of his memories. At least until the next time he sees a monster truck.

We headed downtown where we were supposed to meet Harper, Debbie, David and Yvonne at one of the Irish pubs down there. From what I had read in the newspaper yesterday, it was supposed to be one of the biggest parties in town and it was starting around 6:30. Well, when we rode down there at 6 the line was around the block and word on the street was that the place was already bursting at the seams. So we drove around the block, found the cheapest valet parking ever ($4! In downtown!) and went to one of the "old school" restaurants in the city. David ended up being a wuss so they didn't show, but Harper and Debbie brought along their neighbors from next door and then another couple from down the street - and the husband had brought his non-English speaking mother and sister.

Now, I can't even imagine how bored the mother and sister must've been. Apparently, the four of them had been catting around town since 1 PM and by this point it was close to 7 and they looked bored to tears. Either that, or as Joey said later, they were thinking "Stupid Americans, what the hell are these people doing?" Which is probably the case.

Drinks and dinner were fun, especially when I found out that the neighbors are best friends with one of the owners of my company - who happens to be going through an extremely nasty divorce because he left his wife of almost 30 years for a woman younger than I am. I got all kinds of juicy scoop, none of which I'll be able to use for fear of hurting anyone's feelings - but dayum, it was some good stuff.

So once dinner was over, the debate started about where we should go. We went to the club downstairs in the restaurant, which was a total joke. I don't think anyone in there was much over 21 and there were no other older people in there except maybe the bouncers. Then we got a call that Joey's cousin Taylor was having a little birthday party a block away at a brewpub. Against our better judgement, we slid on down there to check in on him and see a few other cousins and friends from back home who happened to be there. Now, keep in mind that these kids are like in their mid-20's at the oldest.

I got carded at the door! Joey didn't, of course, because he looks like he's around 50. But I was so happy, so cocky that I went sashaying up the stairs to the pool tables where the gang had congregated along with 952 empty Bud Light bottles. It was pretty impressive. We snagged a few beers from the guys and were having a great time.

So we're hanging out, and the waitress comes over. "So, someone told me that you're one of these guys' parents - which one belongs to you?"

I was mortified. But not as much as when we were leaving and one of the college girls called me "ma'am". Ugh. Yeah, I realize it's a sign of respect, but damn - ma'am? Do I look like a ma'am? You don't have to answer that.

So we went slinking out the door where the PimpMobile was idling at the curb and came on home to hang out with Marie, who totally empathized with us on feeling old as shit.

And speaking of feeling like shit, or old shit, we are both feeling bad today. I didn't have much to drink at all, but I have tasted dinner over and over and so has Joey. Even a trip to the Almighty Temple of the Waffle this morning hasn't taken that raw feeling out of my stomach. I suspect it was the garlic mashed potatoes, because Joey had the same thing and feels the same way.

Anyhow, enough whining. I am doing NOTHING today. NOTHING. Maybe a few loads of laundry, but as soon as I finish this my rump will be on the sofa with a pillow and a quilt - or my name ain't "ma'am".