Showing posts with label Badasses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Badasses. Show all posts

Sunday, February 06, 2011

The $3,000 case of the flu

We're back.

Joey got sick with the flu on Thursday. My symptoms started today. I'm kind of feeling a little bit guilty about being mad at him for getting me sick, but I'm sure I'll get over that. Somewhere over Florida I felt like punching him in the throat but I figured they'd probably arrest me in Charlotte if I did that.

It was the most expensive case of the flu ever. He didn't leave the room after Thursday but once and that was to stagger to the hotel nurse only to find out she wasn't in. At least I made it through until the day we left, but being the only "single" person in our group of friends made me feel like the girl that got stood up on prom night. I woke up around 4 AM this morning with a pounding headache and that horrible feeling that you just know you are soooo screwed.

I am so thankful for our friends who helped get us home and took care of us. And made midnight runs to sketchy Bahamian gas stations looking for cold medicine for us. And fed us bourbon.

It sucks not being able to hug Monkey Man. But someone has to stay well around here, because without opposable thumbs Rufus is pretty much just the eye candy around here.

Well, it's off to find a toothbrush since the airline didn't quite get all of our bags on our connecting flight. Of course it's the one with all my soaps and lotions and potions. Of course. I'm hoping it shows up in the middle of the night, because I'm sure the doctor would really love it if I actually showered before coming in tomorrow. I'm thoughtful that way.

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Totally badass

Tomorrow, the Badasses and our assorted husbands depart for 5 days in the Bahamas. Don't hate me, because it literally took me most of my morning to get someone at the airlines to let me change our flights from a Philly connection (which is expecting a ton of snow) to a Charlotte connection. Pass the Xanax, please.

Meanwhile, Monkey Man will be here with his beloved babysitter, Miss Heather, who will ply him with chicken nuggets and let him watch crappy TV the whole time. And of course, Rufus will be here holding down the fort until the two hoomans leave during the day and that's when he turns into the Charlie Sheen of Corgis. He's going to order a briefcase of deer poop and hire corgi strippers to come watch pay-per-view with him for two days. Then he'll have to go to the emergency vet for either a hiatal hernia or deer poop overdose. That's how he rolls.

Thus begins my Month O' Travel. Wish me luck on the airplane. I went back to the ENT yesterday to find out that my ear tubes have already fallen out and my eardrum incisions have healed. Ironically, I just got the bill last week so I figure we averaged a cost of, oh, $5/day for the privilege of having my ears sliced open. Not that I'm complaining or anything. And of course, I have six flights within the next three weeks. Probably more than I flew all of last year. I figure if I drink enough, my ears won't fall off.

Have a wonderful week, and if I can manage not to get alcohol poisoning I'll attempt to check in from Joey's laptop. I am leaving my Blackberry at home. Yes, I am insane, but the thought of having to sell a kidney to afford overseas calls isn't very appealing.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Love hurts

Monkey Man's best friend in the whole entire planet, Quentin, has been totally enamored with this girl that lives in our neighborhood named Annie Grace.  Yes, that is her name - apparently all of the girls in that family have "double first" names.  Kind of sickening but whatever.  The three kids were in the same kindergarten class last year and have also been classmates at The World's Most Expensive Preschool for several years.  This love runs deep, deeper than the ocean and the mountain of tuition debt.

Last fall, Monkey Man scored an exclusive, private invitation to Annie Grace's birthday party at her house - complete with petting zoo.  And a zip line running through the backyard.  All the pizza and sugar you could snarf.  And he was one of three boys invited among something ridiculous like 20 girls, so it was a little bachelor's paradise.  But when Quentin's mom Jay found out, she begged me NOT to tell Quentin about it because he hadn't been invited to the party and would be just heartbroken.  

And at this point, I realized that sometimes, obsession over Kindergarten Love can go a little overboard.  But whatever.  

This year, Annie Grace is back in Monkey Man's room again while Quentin was sent packing to another class.  But his love remained steadfast, with Monkey Man coming home with sporadic reports of smooching on the playground and declarations of love forever, or at least until recess was over.  

Apparently, though, the love is gone.  Finished.  Over.

Two weeks ago, we ended up at the local pizza joint one night after baseball and Quentin's family happened to be there.  He came over to sit with us while we all waited for our food to arrive, so I asked him how school was going and your typical parental grilling questions.  "So...how is Annie Grace, is she still your girlfriend?" I asked.

"Well, Miss Liz," said Quentin sadly, "things aren't going so good.  Annie Grace tried to kick me in the nuts the other day on the playground and now she's not talking to me."

I just about fell out of the booth.  It was all I could do to keep from laughing.  Although a huge part of me wanted to take Quentin to the side and explain that this would probably not be the first time, nor the last time, that a female would attempt to have him by the balls - either literally or figuratively.  But I figured that was probably a conversation for another time.

Fast forward to last Friday, when I was chaperoning Monkey Man's class to the state park on a field trip.  I drove him to school since I was asked suckered into riding the bus with the class, and on the way to school I asked him who his friends were, who he liked playing with, which of the girls he liked and didn't like....

"So Monkey Man, which of the girls do you not like playing with on the playground?"  I asked.

"Annie Grace," he said squinching up his face.  "She tried to kick Quentin in the nuts the other day, and he's my peep.  I've got his back!"  

And they learn so early.  Bro's before ho's.  

*****

I could apologize for being absent again, but it's kind of pointless.  About two weeks ago, we found out that my dad's cancer has spread into his bones now.  Leg, spine, ribcage.  Not unexpected, but still hard to take.  I did make it down to see him two weeks ago and he doesn't look good at all...my sister and I suspect that he is much sicker than my parents are telling me.

Add to this some other issues that I'm not going to get into here but have been weighing heavily on my heart, and I have been just trying to put one foot in front of the other and keep myself going.  It's hard, though.  I'm realizing more than ever that maybe there isn't much I can control in my life anymore.  The pieces are all falling around me and I swear if it wasn't for the people that I love, I wouldn't make it through this with one bit of sanity left.  The sadness of it all is overwhelming me at times, yet I realize that life does go on and that I have some amazing people that I share it with - family, friends, coworkers. 

And for that, I am grateful.  Because even when life kicks you in the nuts, a little love can make it all better.