Introducing the new blog - starring Nick the Cardi!

I figured since the dogs are pretty entertaining on their own right, I didn't need to be riding on their coattails anymore.

Introducing our new blog - Nick the Cardi - International Man of Mystery!

http://nickthecardi.blogspot.com/

Feel free to link if you'd like. I'm hoping Nick's adventures will be entertaining to more than just me!

Snow, snow, and more snow

I got back last Sunday night, so emotionally drained that I headed into the week already feeling a heavy weight on my chest.

Overall, the visit to my parents' went well, save the screaming match I had with the dumbass redneck that lives next door. Last year, he had to go to court numerous times because he had a dangerous dog he allowed to run loose and even though the dog bit my cousin Keith (totally unprovoked) the idiot still wouldn't keep his dog in the fence. Finally, the county forced him to either put the dog to sleep or he was going to jail for violating the "dangerous dog" laws. Now the jerk has not one, not two, but at least three dogs (and I suspect four) one of which is a huge harlequin Great Dane who suddenly last weekend started charging at my parents out in the yard and growling at them. Well, after a few instances I decided that I'd had enough and charged over there and let the guy have it with both barrels. My mom and sister joined in on the fun and finally Billy Badass tucked tail and ran back to his house. The next morning I looked out the window and he had "No Trespassing" and "Dog on Premises" signs all over his yard. Um, hello dumbass - first, I didn't come into YOUR yard, secondly it's YOUR DOG coming into OUR yard. But you know, anyone that brags in the courtroom that he's above the law really is just as stupid as they seem. Hurumph.

My poor Aunt MaryAnn had a few mini-strokes so she has been whisked back to Maryland to live with her daughter. That leaves my Aunt Hazel, who has Alzheimers, to be alone again. For now, my mother and my Aunt Rubye are taking turns on Hazel duty while they find a place that will take her. It's not easy finding care for someone with Alzheimers. It's a full-time job, really, caring for them. And she's in excellent health so it's not like she really needs nursing care either. But we're moving forward, slowly but surely.

One funny thing that happened is that my sister Kathie brought down the yummiest chocolate chip cookies. Seriously, it had been so long since I had a damn cookie that wasn't made from tree bark that I lovingly held one, caressed it, had a moment and then wolfed it down. My Aunt Hazel hesitatingly tried one and then said she was full. Later on, I kept hearing rustling in the kitchen and I asked my mother what the hell my aunt was doing. Well, the kitchen window looks directly across to Hazel's house next door so Mom thought Hazel was just looking over at her house. I kept hearing it...zip...zip...zip...zip...finally, I went in there to discover her caught with her hand in the cookie bag. She had eaten 20 freaking cookies in about an hour. Good thing she's not only terribly skinny but with all her incessant roaming she burns off everything about a minute after she eats it.

Anyhow, the trip turned out okay and I came home and piled into bed for the rest of the night. Exhausting.

*****

Monkey Man ended up with strep again last week, so I had two days at home to get into all kinds of stuff. I worked on my recipe for whole wheat chocolate chip cookies, caught up on the Mount Everest of laundry, and did a lot of reading and bad kid-movie watching. I was useless.

Yesterday we got at least a foot of snow, probably more. Again, more of the same - eating, laundry, a lot of Facebook time (probably more than I have since I signed onto that blasted time-sucker). In a bit, as soon as it gets closer to 30 degrees, we'll try to get the driveway finished and maybe venture forth to see how the roads are. I can already predict school will be closed at least the next day if not two days. Yay.

*****

This weekend I also started working on my new venture, which as soon as I get it going well I will definitely share. It's something I've been thinking about for at least a year, and now it's time to get serious about it. Or at least get off my ass and give it a try.

Stay warm, peeps!

Technical difficulties

Guess what I got right after my birthday?

A nasty computer virus. Yay me! So my home laptop has been out of commission, and since work blocks anything fun I haven't had access to Blogger in what seems like an eternity. I guess I could have used Joey's computer down in the Man Cave, but he's been chained to it every night for the past two weeks trying to work and pick up some projects. After trying all of the tricks he could to debug the laptop, he finally scrubbed the whole thing clean and started new. Sigh. But hey, I'm using it now, so hopefully this will work when I click on "publish".

It's late, and I need to go to bed, but I promise that tomorrow night I'll update y'all on everything that's been going on - including an update on my dad, reconnecting with an old friend, the latest exploits of EPOD, new Cat Door stories, and just for GMan, I might even talk about my boobs.

Get out the tissues

You will laugh so hard you will CRY.

I have spent the last hour going through Cake Wrecks. I haven't laughed that hard in ages.

Enjoy. And it's going on the blogroll. Good stuff!

Oops

I just realized with some horror that it's been exactly a whole freaking month since I posted.

Sorry.

It's been a little bit of a whirlwind around these parts. We took a quick vacation to the beach, we had a Forced-In-Law-Interaction (This Time Without Yeast Rolls!), we ended up with a colony of bees living underneath the siding of our house, and work has been truly awful. My motto of the last few weeks has been, "Encumbered by idiots, I press onward!"

How true.

Chachi's last day is next Friday and my palms sweat just thinking about it. We have a new team member - name yet to be determined - and while he's a nice guy he's not exactly a ball of fire. I think we are totally screwed.

So we have been so freaking busy at work that I basically eat, work, and collapse. Lather, rinse, repeat. Some life, huh?

I have also been wrapping my brain around some news we got about my dad. The new treatment isn't working and the doctor wants him to see an oncologist. And my dad has decided he's done all that he wants to do.

I've been preparing for this for the last two years. Since Dad got so sick, I've felt really fortunate that we've gotten some extra time with him. It's like the big bonus round. But it's also been living each day waiting for the other shoe to drop. And right now, it's dangling by a shoelace. I'm okay with it. I went back and re-read the advice that Cat Door gave me when my dad was in the coma, and I've come to realize that I've been embracing the eventuality of Dad's death this whole time. And if he's okay with it, I am too. And we have no idea how long he has - it could be days, months, or years. So there's that.

It's hard for me to write when I feel like my insides are a pressure cooker. Hence my absence for the past month. I feel like I'm coming out on the other side, though. Maybe.

So if you're still hanging around, thanks. Sorry I haven't been able to be an active participant, but I really wasn't ready to share this with anyone yet. But I think my heart is healing a little bit. And I'm starting to realize how much I miss writing.

Truth or dare

This should be fun! If you leave a question in the comments, I'll answer it in the following day's post, okay?

Let's start with Joansy: "When will you be in Las Vegas again?" God, I wish I knew. Probably next February if the stars align and our convention is there. I'm hoping to con a friend of mine into flying there with me later on this fall, so you know if I do that we'll have to meet up again! And have more martinis, hooray! I just actually took the receipt from Spago out of my wallet yesterday...

Then Tree asked some great questions:

"Where did you leave things with your mom?" Well, about the same. I haven't actually talked to her in over a week, but I need to call her. I got word last night from my sister that it seems as though my father's prostate cancer is back - or at least his PSA levels are up again. So I need to bite the bullet and make that call. In other related news, I have the name of a therapist who a friend recommended and I have to make that call too. Sigh.

"Are you going to run that race in a couple weeks?" Yuppers, or at least if my application is accepted. It's a small race, only 1,500 runners and walkers - compared to 35,000 in the race I blew off last weekend. I did it 2 years ago so I'm familiar with it and look forward to it! And I'm hoping to run an 8K in conjunction with our marathon in November. Maybe a few others this year.

"Do you have an interest in a half marathon?" Um, not really. I think I'm not physically fit enough to do that, I struggle just with a 10K!

"What is your favorite meal that you make?" Probably a good beef tenderloin filet on the grill with some au gratin potatoes and grilled asparagus. Good stuff! Oh, and a good red wine.

"What is the favorite dinner to order at a restaurant?" It really depends, but I'd say anything with beef. I do like salmon a lot too. I avoid chicken because hell, I get that at home. A lot. Some kind of potatoes. Grilled veggies. And of course, dessert - anything chocolate with some ice cream. Yum.

"What gourmet meal would you like to learn to cook (assuming of course that you do not already do that!)?" Honestly, I have no clue. I've never done a prime rib before. And I'm not good at cooking fish myself other than shrimp or scallops. I've tried just about everything else though!

"What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?" Right now it's the pomegranate martini. Before that it was a whisky sour, and before that it was a Lynchburg Lemonade - hence my nickname for years, Lynchburg Lizzy Lu-Lu. Ahem. I also love a good Merlot, the more expensive the better!

"What is your middle name?" Since I got married, I use my maiden name of Johnson as my middle name. My "real" middle name is Booth...yes, I am a distant descendant of John Wilkes Booth. It's my grandmother's maiden name. Ironically, I'm the only child in our family that got a weird middle name - the rest of them all got normal "first name" type of middle names like Ann, Allen and Lee. I got screwed on that one.

"Do you see yourself living in the same house until MM graduates high school? Would you consider moving after he leaves for college? Where would you move?" I really haven't thought about it. We've moved every five years since we've been married, but this is the first house we've had that we both agree feels like HOME. Plus our friends live nearby, the schools are good, and so on. We will probably be here at least through middle school if not longer, depending on whether the school situation stays the same. And I'm sure we'd downsize after Monkey Man moves away...we don't need all this room for just the two of us (or maybe we do, heh) so perhaps we'd get a cool condo or something like that. Joey likes having a lot of property to ramble around on so he would probably hate that idea, though. He'd like to move closer to our family, which as most of you readers know it would be a cold day in hell before I'd consent to that. So I guess in summary, I have no freaking idea!

"Have you been looking for a new job or are you happy with the status quo for now?" Funny you should ask. Two weeks ago I got a call from a headhunter that I'd been talking to a few years ago. He had heard that I was a LEED Accredited Professional and had a few opportunities available. I started drafting up my resume and almost had it ready to send to him when I realized that honestly, other than dealing with a super-crabby boss, I like where I work. My friends are there. I have a flexible schedule. I have just enough responsibility to be challenged but not so much that I have to work nights or weekends. And, the other kicker is that two members of our five-person team are leaving in July to head off to MBA programs in other states. Leaving right now would not be a good thing...and honestly, I really have no desire to have a "career" anymore other than exactly what I'm doing. It's not always fulfilling, but it does allow me to do things like take vacations without worrying about what's going on at the office, or taking a half-day off to go to a program at Monkey Man's school. So I guess until something falls into my lap, I'm just going to stay put.

And the final question from today comes from The Piper Family: "How did you end up in the construction field?" Let's just say it was lack of anything better to do. When I graduated from college in 1993, the employment field in this state was pathetic. Seriously, almost no one in my graduating class had a job lined up for after graduation. I really didn't know what I wanted to do - I thought maybe working in a law office would be great and I had done an internship for a team of lawyers and loved it. But unfortunately, I wasn't a paralegal and although I sent resumes to every law firm in the city worth a toot, I didn't get a single interview.

The biggest part of this is that I had decided to move here to be with my boyfriend. A college friend had fixed me up with Bill and we had been doing the "commuter romance" for about six months. We were pretty serious and I figured if I moved here then the natural progression would be that we'd eventually end up married. The friend that fixed us up had gotten a job up around DC so her parents kindly offered me a place to live for free until I could find a job and an apartment.

The other part is that my parents told me I had to have a job by June 30th or I was going to have to move back home. That was clearly not an option for me.

So anyhow, Bill's stepdad worked for this big mechanical contractor here in town and mentioned that I could probably get a job there. All I knew about mechanical contractors was way back when I was in community college and working the night shift at the Super 8 Motel, there was a group of mechanical contractors staying there for about two months while working at a glass factory. There was this one really hot guy who would bring me dinner and milkshakes all the time, so I was pretty smitten with him. And no, I didn't go to his room with him. Anyhow, all I knew was that mechanical contractors at least made enough to buy milkshakes for girls at hotels. I didn't exactly know what they did, although later on I got to know way more about ductwork, piping, and sewer lines than a girl should know.

I got the name of the office manager at the company and sent her a resume. And then sent her another letter. And then called her. Finally, she called me and said, "You are probably the most persistent person I've ever seen, so I have to bring you in for an interview and see what you're all about." I went in for the interview and although they didn't have a position open, they ended up creating a job for me and the rest is history. I stayed there almost three years until I got sick of the BS there (lots of female beeyotchy politics there) and ended up with my current job. I've been here almost 12 years. Shit, I've been doing this for a loooong time.

Oh, and what happened with Bill you might ask? Well, I discovered that maybe the long distance thing worked better for us. Seriously, the guy was annoying as crap. For one thing, he was a bodybuilder and ex-Marine, so not only was his diet totally bizarre but his table manners were atrocious. Like picking up an entire chicken breast on his fork and gnawing on it like a wolf. He worked as a manager at a video store...not a district manager of Blockbuster like he'd told me. It was some random video store chain here in town. And the kicker was he lived with his mom and stepdad - it was supposed to be a temporary situation, but then when they started building a new house and took me on a tour, I realized that they were building enough room for all three of her sons to live there FOREVER. And the sons didn't seem to really want to live on their own. Red alert! FREAKS. So we broke up, he cried, and I moved on to an even worse boyfriend for the next two years. Sometimes life sucks that way.

So anyhow, if ya wanna know my deepest, darkest secrets...leave 'em in the comments!

And then poof! It was gone

You know what I realized yesterday?

I let the second anniversary of the blog go by without even noticing. Oops.

I started out gangbusters, posting every day for what seemed like an eternity. Now, not as often but I do still get the same enjoyment out of it. Hell, it's cheaper than therapy, right?

So in honor of the blog's second blogiversary, I'm going to let you guys ask me questions.

Seriously. Ask me anything. Post it in the comments, or if you're too shy just email it to me at buildermama at gmail dot com and I will post the question and then my answer.

(Here's hoping this idea doesn't bomb miserably....)

*****

Another thing that flew by was the weekend. Remarkably unremarkable. Joey was sick with a sinus infection AGAIN so he was pretty much laid up all weekend. I tried to keep Monkey Man occupied and out of Joey's hair so he could get some rest, so hopefully that helped. On the other hand, though, it made me drink. A lot.

Last night we went to the local comedy club with Jay and Harry - we saw Ralphie May who was frikking hysterical. He is getting ready to tape a new special so he was onstage for over two hours winging out new material right and left. My sides are still hurting.

And I ran. Not in the race, but I ran, lifted weights, did some Pilates and stretching. It feels good. So that was Saturday and Sunday and tonight is laundry night so no running for me.

Friday, I came home to discover our gorgeous shower enclosure was up. And it's wrong. Again. Glass is going to have to be recut and things will have to be redone. Luckily, Cat Door and I had been holed up at the local bar with some friends so by the time we got back to my house to check out the handiwork of the stoopid glass idiots all we could do was laugh. And laugh. And laugh. It will get done eventually, maybe by the time Monkey Man goes to college.

See, boring. That's why I need you guys to ask me some questions, so I actually have something to talk about. Other than screwed up glass and sinus infections. Help a sister out, would ya?

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

This morning I discovered this in my inbox from the lovely Aimee:

And since my office officially SUCKS and for some odd reason Blogger barely cooperates there, I couldn't get this up this morning. I'm running a little late, so that pretty much sums up my entire week.

So, come on out - whether you're a daily commenter or just pop in every now and then. Show the love!

It's going to be a long month

First, thanks to everyone for the birthday well-wishes - my inbox was filled with all kinds of love this morning. It's been a pretty damn good day overall.

What is weighing on my mind, though, is how challenging this month has been so far. And it's only the fifth day, people. And I blame the ever-elusive Mrs. Smith, Monkey Man's teacher.

It all started yesterday. Apparently, there is actually a Jewish kid in Monkey Man's class, a real rarity in these white-bread parts. So Max's mom came in to school yesterday and taught the class a little about Hanukkah - they made latkes, they played with a dreidel (and she actually taught them how to play properly) and she showed them how to light the menorah. Monkey Man came home and harangued us for hours. Why don't we have a menorah? Why can't we play with OUR dreidel? Why don't we celebrate Hanukkah? I patiently explained things the best that I could - I told him the story of Hanukkah, what the differences in beliefs are for our religion (we are kind of a mix of Methodist and Baptist) versus what the Jewish faith believes, and all that stuff. See, I grew up in New Jersey where a good 50% of my friends were Jewish, so I have some basic knowledge about that kind of stuff. Joey, not so much - I think the nearest Jewish person was probably a good 75 miles away.

This morning, Monkey Man got up in a little bit of a funk. And when I asked him what happened, he told me that he was upset that we're not Jewish. "Gosh," I said to Joey, "if he's this upset over Hanukkah, I can hardly wait for Ramadan and Kwanzaa."

Tonight, it was St. Nicholas. I guess maybe Joey had never heard of St. Nicholas before - or if he had, he never had really learned anything about the traditions. My family lived in Germany for several years back in the early 1960's, so I grew up knowing a little bit about St. Nicholas. So tonight, when I went upstairs to put laundry away I overheard Joey talking to Monkey Man while he was giving him a bath, and Monkey Man was in tears because Joey told him that St. Nicholas didn't exist and he didn't know anything about some shoe thing (which is that kids leave their shoes outside and St. Nicholas puts gifts in the shoes).

Dear God, it's going to be a long damn month. He's only been learning about holidays from around the world since yesterday and we've already had two nights full of meltdowns because we're not Jewish and we don't get presents in our shoes.

*****

Ya know something cool I got for my birthday? Some new blog bling.

Aimee over at Greeblemonkey nominated me for the Blogger's Choice Awards. Something about being the Hottest Mommy Blogger? Who, me? Competing with such hotness as Aimee and Gretchen?

Anyhow, I am shamelessly whoring myself on this one. Click over on the button at the right to vote for me. Vote early, vote often, and make sure you vote for Aimee and Gretchen too. They are two hot mamas that I'd love to lose to anyday.

How many points if I eat my own words?

I know. I'd been doing so well, like posting a few days in a row. But you know how it is - sometimes you get a case of blogblock that kind of prevents you from posting much of anything at all.

I've been focusing this week on myself. As in trying to get back in the Weight Watchers groove. The first three weeks are always the hardest because I find myself obsessing over food, food, and more food. Hey, wait - isn't this what got me into this predicament in the first place? Um, yeah.

This is my fourth love affair with Weight Watchers. I did it in college with my roomie, Kim (hi Kimmy!). I think that time I lost around 20 pounds but I was a total gym rat at that time - we had a great gym that I signed up for a multi-year contract with and would go all the freaking time. And of course, when you're like 21 years old it's sooo easy. The pounds just fall off. And you don't appreciate it at all. I tell you what, I would kill to have that metabolism back again!

My second time was back in either 1999 or 2000. I got skinny. Scary skinny. As a matter of fact, I have always kind of suspected that it contributed a little bit to my infertility problems, because I put about 10 pounds of it back on and BAM! Monkey man was conceived.

My third time was in August, 2005. That was the big one. When all was said and done, I lost over 40 pounds and I managed to keep it off for two years. My motivating factor on that is all spilled here. I still believe that if I hadn't done something, my health was going to be in some serious jeopardy since at 35 I couldn't even walk up a flight of stairs without gasping for breath. How pathetic is that?

And now, here I am, dancing with the Weight Watchers devil yet again. Dammit.

The first few weeks are the biggest challenge for me. Remembering what food is equal to how many points, mentally tallying it all in my head, having to re-learn how to eat. Eventually, around Week 3, it becomes a second nature and I start rattling off points like some kind of idiot savant. It freaks my friends out. And probably annoys them, too.

I've also worked out every day for the past two weeks (except Wednesdays which are my self-imposed day off). It feels good. I'm running a little bit again, mostly speedwalking though on inclines up to 8.0. It makes my ass look fabulous.

I have a really hard time with the whole dieting/fitness thing. It eats up so much of me that I feel almost guilty and selfish for focusing so much time and energy on myself. I'm not one of those selfless people that you see on those makeover shows by any stretch of the imagination - like it hasn't exactly been 5 years since my last haircut or since I bought myself some new pants - but still, it makes me feel a tad guilty to spend an hour of my day working out. And that's stupid, so I'm trying to get over that. I mean, it's selfish NOT to take care of myself, because I want to be around a long time to harass Monkey Man and spend all of Joey's money!

So, it is what it is. I'm doing pretty well. My weigh-in will be tomorrow at 10:30. I know I've lost some, but of course their scales are completely different than mine. As long as I've accomplished something after busting my ass all week, I'll be happy.

I'm eating better this time - making more food for myself instead of trying to piecemeal some semblance of a diet. Like yesterday for lunch, I made the most awesome sandwich. Get yourself a package of sliced portobello mushrooms - cook them on the grill or in a skillet on the stove, 4 minutes per side. I used a smidge of olive oil and garlic to cook them in, so make that 1 point just for the oil factor and 0 points for the mushrooms. Take a Thomas' whole wheat pita (2 points), add to it a cup of fresh spinach (0 points), 3 teaspoons of Presidente fat-free feta cheese (1 point), and your sauteed mushrooms. It was huge and yummy and a whopping 4 points. Add to that some of the Progresso 0 point soup and it was a great lunch that kept me filled up until dinnertime. And that's what I'm having for lunch today, too.

So see - it's an obsession right now. So much of an obsession that I've been contemplating about starting a different blog just for diet and exercise, focusing on busy moms. It seems like there isn't much out there focusing on that - and not like I'm some kind of guru or anything, but there should be some kind of place to go for inspiration or venting or just looking for a little comraderie when you're having a moment when you've eaten that sundae or your pants that fit two months ago don't fit. Not to mention how to fit it all in when you're running around like a crazy person.

So, whaddaya think? Would you read something like that? Would you like to be a contributor? Drop me an email if you'd like to be a contributor...buildermama at gmail dot com. I'm looking for a good spectrum of people with different challenges (like if you have a health issue that makes you more conscientious of your need to be fit) that can chime in every now and then. I'll be trying to get it started up in the next few weeks, once we get back from our trip.

Until then, I'm just going to keep obsessing. That only costs 0 points, but does it burn any calories?

Four score and seven years ago

Actually, it wasn't quite that long ago, although it's seemed that way sometimes. Especially those nights when I can't figure out a single thing to write about which seems to happen more often than not these days.

A year ago today, Builder Mama was born. It was a boring Sunday, I'd been thinking about jumping into blogging for a long time, and I figured I would do it about three weeks and then quit.

And here I am. Still filling the internets with inane chatter.

Someone asked me recently why I started blogging in the first place. There are a multitude of reasons that are way too boring to go into. It's not that I ever thought my life was so noteworthy or cool or that I was seeking fame and fortune. But this blog has brought a lot to my life, especially when my dad was so sick and there were times I could tell y'all how I felt when it was too scary to say out loud. It's helped me reconnect with old friends and make some new friends. And it's taught me that people will come here because they've Googled "geriatric nudist resorts" and other things. Pervs.

So if you're new around these parts or if you're doing naughty Googling and stumbled onto my page, welcome. And if you've been here a while, thanks for coming back. Now you might want to talk to a professional about why you continue to torture yourself this way, but that's all up to you.

A new baby - and no, it's not what you think

One of my resolutions for this year is to work on my writing. You know, to git me some skillz.

So imagine how excited I was to get an email from a project co-founded by my PIM buddy Julie where I not only get to write about stuff, I get free stuff to try and and then write about it? Hell yeah, sign me up.

Have you signed me up yet?

How about now?

I'm proud to announce my affiliation with Parentbloggers.com, a group that gives bloggers the opportunity to do product reviews on all kinds of cool stuff. I've set up a separate blog for just the product reviews and will post not only about the stuff they want me to try out, but also on cool stuff that I've found myself. You know, because I like stuff. And I always have a lot to say. A marriage made in heaven, if I do say so myself.

So, in order to make it easy to find the reviews I've set up a brand new blog called Builder Mama Picks and Pans. And when I have something new to review, I'll give y'all a little tease over here so if you're interested you can trot on over to check it out. And if you'd rather stay here and read about boobs and stuff then, well, you can stay here. It's all about you, my friends.

I do promise this much, though - no matter if it's something I've found myself, or something that I've been asked to try and review, I will always give an honest review. If it sucks, I will totally tell you. And if it rocks, I may or may not tell you depending on how greedy I am and if I want to keep it all to myself. Just kidding. Maybe.

So, keep your eyes out. We're in the early stages, but I think we'll be rolling along here pretty quickly in the near future. In the meantime, it's back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Yo, need a favor

Hey y'all - can everyone click on the link to the right for "Man Overboard" and then comment if it's working for you or not?

I have been having problems with this all day and not sure if it's IE doing this to me or what. Bastards.

Calling all bloggers

I'm kind of funny about adding people to my links - namely, I won't add you unless I have your permission because I have a few blogger friends that prefer not to be on the blogroll for various reasons like they're on the run from the law or they're too embarrassed to be associated with me. I can totally understand the fugitive factor but the embarrassment? Oh yeah.

However, if you want to be adored by the 3 people who read this blog and want to be added to my blogroll, please either post your link on the comments or email me at buildermama@gmail.com. And even if you don't want to be added, feel free to add me to your blogroll. I have nothing to hide. Much.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming

Please, no hate mail

Welcome to the new look of Builder Mama. Yes, I decided to dance with the devil Beta and give this a whirl. I spent most of last night looking for other templates that I liked, tried one out (if you were here between 8 - 10 PM last night, sorry - it probably gave you a horrible headache trying to read anything), and it just didn't gel. It looked great, and was very "architectural" looking, but the layout just didn't work with the text running out into the background and making it hard to read. I was pretty disappointed, but soon solved that with a cookie. I'm easy that way.

And you know, today's a new day. I'm trying really hard to get a fresh start after the chaos of the past two months, so what better way to start than with a new look. Not to mention the fact that after almost two weeks of watching Jetix my brain is kind of morphing into something like cheese so I figured it would give me something that my technologically-challenged mind could work with. Sort of.

Now...I know there's a few of y'all out there that like some of the links that I had up there. If you want me to put them back, just say the word. I'm just trying this layout now, hoping to add a few new peeps to the blogroll, etc. - but it's all about YOU, so let me know if there's one you're missing. 'kay?

*****

Running the numbers

Now that the housekeeping part of this is done, I need to send an enormous shout-out to one of my bestest friends since high school, Shai, and her husband Dave. Shai and Dave welcomed twin girls last Friday, bringing the total to four beautiful little girls in their house. Lucky devils!

Dave's comment in his email? "I'm busy running the numbers on four weddings." Smart man.

*****

Patching the Pimp Mobile

Back when my dad was in the hospital, Joey did a great job holding things together so I could be away helping out my parents. Well, let's just say he got a taste of how many things I handle for our family that he has no idea about...about a week into everything, I got this phone call one night..."Honey, when do you think you might be able to come home? I'm exhausted. This weekend we went to the grocery store twice, went to CVS, tae kwan do...." Um, that sums up about 15 minutes of my daily existence. But I digress.

One Saturday Joey and Monkey Man came out of tae kwan do to find a nervous-looking dude standing by the Pimp Mobile. Turns out the jackass had hit it coming into the next parking spot, doing about $3K in damage. To do that kind of damage, he was either driving about 60 mph when he hit the truck, or we drive a rare sportscar...you can guess which scenario fits here. And it's not the sportscar.

Anyhow, the insurance companies worked everything out and we finally got permission to take the Pimp Mobile in for repairs. And look at what we got to drive:

Aren't you jealous? That thing was suh-weeet!

Seriously, that wasn't it. But it might as well have been, because guess what we got as a rental car?

A Dodge Charger.

All we needed was to paint it orange and give Bo and Luke a call.

I think Joey secretly liked it, though. Hopefully the Pimp Mobile will hang in there so we don't end up with the General Lee parked in our driveway.

May I have your attention please

To the person who found this site by googling "geriatric nudist resort", I have one word for you.

Ewwww.

I mean, really. Ewwww.

Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Welcome to the insanity

If this is your first time visiting Builder Mama Headquarters, welcome. You must be wearing steel-toed boots, OSHA-approved safety glasses, and a hard hat to tour the site. All visitors must report to the jobsite trailer before entering the site.

It amazes me to see how some people end up finding this site. A few of my PIM friends have added me to their blogrolls so by luck I've gotten quite a bit of traffic from them. But occasionally, I get someone who has done a Blogger search and by some odd twist of fate, they end up here. Some of the searches have been:

“I am pregnant” Congratulations! Now, fasten your seatbelt, because you’re in for a bumpy ride…but so rewarding at the end.

"shoot me now, shoot me now" I have no idea why you’d be looking for this, but welcome to you as well. And let me say that if you worked for Eeyore, you’d be saying this too – on a regular basis.

“moms” Yup, that’s me. A great club to belong to. I just hope you weren’t looking for any inspiration or tips on how to be the perfect mom, because I’m just stumbling through all this with no blueprints or specifications and hoping for the best.

“summer intern” Sorry, no openings here at Builder Mama Headquarters. Not unless you’re male, over 6 feet tall and hot…then we might be able to work you in. Really. I might need someone to be the cabana boy for me at the pool this summer, so bring your sunscreen.

“infertility” I’ve been there, and if you’re searching for this, I’m sorry if you’re trapped in the never-ending cycle of hell. I hope it gets better for you and I send you endless hugs and good wishes.

“secret family-picx” Okay, I’m not exactly sure why anyone would post secret pictures on the internet, doesn’t that kind of defeat the “secret” part? The only secret family picture I have is my eighth grade class photo which is so eye-searingly horrid that I will die if anyone ever unearths it.

"grandmothers knitting transformers" If you can figure this one out, let me know because I have no clue.

“mom sucking” I sense some angst here. And searching for that on Mother’s Day, nonetheless. Your mother would be ashamed.

“granny panties” You really wanted to see some? That is so not hot. You might want to talk to someone about your problem, you perv.

Anyhow, welcome. We break for lunch every day at 11:30, and make sure that you turn in your timecard at the end of the day. Thanks.

Report from Builder Mama Headquarters

A little update from Builder Mama Headquarters...

Blog stuff:

I’ve changed the comments section so that anyone can leave a comment. I’m a little anxious about doing that, but I also don’t want anyone who wants to comment to have to either join Blogger or give up a kidney or anything.

But if I start getting spam about work-at-home opportunities or hoo-hoo enlargement, all bets are off.

Oh, and to anyone who commented yesterday….there was some kind of flub-up with Blogger and although I clicked on “publish comments”, they disappeared into the abyss and I can’t get them back. I even clicked my heels three times but nothing worked. Today, however, they are working just fine. Go figure. But anyway, if you did leave one that hasn’t shown up, I’m sorry. Feel free to re-comment if you want to, or leave nasty comments about my comment moderating abilities.

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In the “this may be a big mistake” department:

Saturday, we went to a fabulous birthday party for the son of one of my very cool PIM friends. (That would be Psycho Internet Mom friends, you all know who you are.) It was a tae kwon do party…and when we got the invite, I had visions of kids totally strung out on sugar while kicking and punching each other. You know, kind of like a bunch of drunk midgets at a frat party. As it turned out, the studio did a great job with the kids and Monkey Man had a total blast. So we did what any normal red-blooded American parents would do.

We marched right down to our local studio and signed Monkey Man up for tae kwon do classes. Seven months’ worth of classes.

I can’t decide if he is really going to like it or not – I am hoping that by putting him a little outside of his comfort zone that it will help build his confidence in unfamiliar situations. Either that or he is going to need therapy for years to deal with the emotional scarring.

Our first class is Saturday. Pray for me, please.

*****

Home again, home again, jiggity jig

So I am at home today – Monkey Man attempted to cough a lung up all night long, I got very little sleep, and we need to trek back over to the pediatrician’s office again. They changed his nasal spray on Saturday, and when I woke him up yesterday morning he had this awful snotty nose…and then when I picked him up at school yesterday, he had a nasty snotty nose and coughed nonstop all night long. I can’t decide if it’s an allergy attack, a reaction to the new meds, or an upper respiratory infection. Regardless, I am hauling back over there today to hopefully get some answers. And maybe some Xanax for me. I need it.

Monkey Man is currently self-medicating with grape jelly toast, the Super Morphin Power Rangers movie, and a large cup of milk. I will be the one drooling in the corner with the fifth of Makers Mark. Don’t wake me, please.

*****

If she’s trying to sell me on the job, she’s failing miserably

This afternoon, Joey is coming home early so I can go on The Interview Part 2: The Revenge. I got the phone call late yesterday afternoon from the girl who is currently working in the same position that they want me to accept, and she is bringing me out to her jobsite so I can get a better feel for exactly what it is that she does and what their expectations of me would be.

It was kind of strange talking to her yesterday, because her comment to me was, “Well, they want me to get you out here so that you can see, heh heh heh, what it is that I do.” Nothing like interjecting a sinister laugh into a description of a job that you’re trying to sell someone on taking to raise that comfort level, huh?

Part of me feels guilty for even going because chances are that I won’t take the job if they offer it to me. But the other part of me can’t let go until I see exactly what it is they’re going to offer. Is that bad?

Anyhow, I’m heading out there this afternoon and hopefully she’ll be in a slightly better mood than she was yesterday. Or at least do a better job at pretending she likes her job.

More on this tonight.

*****

And now, for something completely different

I just want to give a shout out to everyone who has been e-mailing me and commenting over the past few weeks on the job situation as well as the b-word.

Sometimes it's hard for me to put my personal struggles out here for the world to see, especially when I tend to be very self-conscious about how I present myself to other people. Do I really want people to know what a rotten person I feel like for struggling with the thought of having another baby? Do I want everyone to know my frustrations with working in a man's world? And most importantly, do I want to reveal my phobia of escalators? I guess it's a little late now, but it does feel pretty damn good to get it all out there. I can honestly say that my soul feels a little lighter now. Especially about the escalators.

There is so much going on in my life right now, but I do appreciate each and every one of you for your support and good wishes. Thanks.