Poof! went the auditor

The auditor left at 12:20 PM today. This could be good, and this could be bad.

On the good side, it means he didn't find any funky shit and got all of the answers he needed thanks to all of my diligent hard work assembling two binders full of invoices and cost reports and other miscellaneous crap.

On the bad side, it could possibly mean that he couldn't figure out a damn thing, threw his hands up in the air, and headed back to Texas. After stopping for a drink, of course.

Last year when he was here for almost a week, we discovered that he liked to leave promptly at 3:00 every afternoon to go to Happy Hour. Roll in at 9 AM, lunch at noon, and leaving at 3 to go get hammered before heading back to the Comfort Suites. What a life. I have to say, though, that if I had to work with picky owners and shitty contractors, I'd probably need a drink every day too. But my happy hour would start promptly at noon and last until midnight. Hangover, schmangover.

In other news, I am growing suspicious that my husband is avoiding me. Okay, maybe not avoiding me, but for the past two days every time I call on his cell phone I always get voice mail. As it turns out, he got a new phone and since he likes to keep the thing on vibrate so he doesn't disturb other people in the office and out in restaurants, apparently he can't feel the vibrating with the way it sits in the belt clip. When I suggested tucking it down the crack of his ass so that he could actually tell when I'm calling him, he got a little mad. Go figure.

Tomorrow's mission, since I love to do things ahead of time, is to find a comfortable pair of shoes to wear to this black tie dance thingy on Saturday night that we're going to with the Neighborhood Badasses. Nothing like a whopping 24 hours to break in new shoes that not only have to look fabulous but feel comfortable too. Wish me luck on this one. I am thinking about some nice orthopedic loafers with a snappy little rhinestone strap, what do you think? I am really curious to see what this event is like - we've never gone before, and it's a fundraiser being held by the local Women's Club. Our side of town is kind of the Ghetto Fabulous side - not ritzy enough to be with the highrollers, yet not exactly the projects - so I am envisioning tube tops and cowboy boots. Maybe some wrist corsages, too, with the little pearl accents on them. Classy!

And last, but certainly not least, I got my newest product to review today from the fine folks at ParentBloggers. And boy, do I have the perfect test for it before my review. I am taking it to The Happiest (and Germiest) Place on Earth next week...Disney World. This is gonna be good, people.

Have a lovely day, y'all. Friday afternoon I head to my alma mater to face the fire at a ribbon-cutting on my latest debacle, I mean project. Luckily I just donated a generous $50 so I won't be stoned, drawn and quartered at the door. Good karma, yo.