He's baaaaaack....

The auditor, that is. He was here in April 2006 to audit our files for The Big Corporate Headquarters Job and now he's back again for a "final" audit.

I swear that this job will never go away. It's like the old boyfriend who calls you like once or twice a year, drunk as hell, slobbering into the phone, "Hey...hey...I looooove yoooooou...." Just when you think you've heard the last of him, he pops back up again. I am hoping, praying that this job comes to a merciful end soon. Here we are, almost 3 years after the job started, and we are still cleaning up. I really need closure, I crave it almost.

Anyhow, between the auditor and trying to finish a LEED submission on The Job at my Alma Mater, this week has been seriously hard. Last night I fell asleep on the couch at 8:00 and barely remember Monkey Man covering me up with a blanket and telling me goodnight. At some point I vaguely remember the dog barking at me from the deck to let him back in (I ignored him) and then later on getting up and stumbling into bed. And then waking up at 3:30 and wondering why I couldn't go back to sleep. Duh.

And did I tell you what I ate yesterday? It was almost embarrassing. Two Krispy Kreme donuts. Some Olive Garden takeout and two pieces of cake (we had a baby shower at work for two of the guys and their wives). A small pizza. I felt downright sick by the time I got home and damn if I didn't want a cookie. Somebody stop me! I didn't eat the cookie, though. I was too busy drooling on the couch in a total sugar coma.

This morning, I called my sister to wish her a happy Valentine's Day and she told me that her dog Teddy had just pissed on her bed. The dog seriously has issues. He loves to lift his leg on select pieces of her furniture (and she has beautiful furniture) and of course picked today to pee on the bed for the first time. I think he's going to end up going to Doggy Boot Camp for a week if he's not careful, where the Evil Mistress of Dog Training will terrorize him for a week and leave him cowering in fear of a shaker can. If you're not familiar with what one is, it's basically a soda can with pennies dropped in it and taped up. You shake the can when the dog is misbehaving and it's supposed to scare them into behaving. Well, when the Evil Mistress made a housecall last fall, the can had the opposite effect on Teddy. The other greyhound, Melody, cowered in fear and fell to pieces. So they might need to rethink this strategy.

So anyhow, here's hoping that each of you has a great Valentine's Day and that no one lifts their leg on your bed. Because that's all we can honestly hope for, right?