Wednesday, August 22, 2007

It's all about the boobs

I know that G-Man will probably add this to one of his favorite posts list. Because it's about one of his favorite things. Boobs.

This morning was one of those days that I grabbed the first clean thing that I found. This would be a black Ann Taylor mock-wrap top and a black skirt this these flowers on it that I scored at Stein Mart for like $2 but looks great. Hey - it was clean and didn't need ironing.

What I usually wear under said top is one of those Body by Victoria demi-shaping bras. It does a pretty good job holding the neckline in place so that you get just a hint of cleavage without showing all your goods at the office. What I wore today, though, was one of their newer bras - it's leopard print and push-up and well, it doesn't hold the neckline in place so well. So The Girls were in full effect today, as I realized when I was being ogled by our CFO this morning. Oops.

Around 8:30, Cat Door called yet again and wanted to know if we could meet at the granite place today. Sure, no problem, and I agreed to call him around 12:15 before I left to meet him. As it turned out, he was running late and I ended up scoring some free lunch by agreeing to meet him at this dive diner somewhere downtown by the granite place. I asked him to order a cheeseburger for me and I jumped in the car and sped over there.

I walked in the restaurant to discover him sitting with Oldest Nephew, who apparently has been sold to Cat Door in slavery for the summer. Or at least for a few weeks of it. I suspect he gets to do a lot of very un-fun things for Cat Door. But he's a cute kid, and he enjoyed the usual banter that Cat Door and I fall into when we get together - talking about his old boss, our families, both of our projects, and so on. Oldest Nephew was very, very quiet. Too quiet.

After we finished lunch, I followed them to the back alley where Cat Door had parked his umpteenth new truck of the year (he keeps wrecking all of them) and then I went to my car so I could follow them over to the granite place. When we got there, Oldest Nephew stayed in the car while Cat Door and I got out and got ready to go inside. I offered him a piece of gum and I noticed he was squirming a little bit in the truck as he said thanks, but no.

We stepped inside the door to the granite place....

Me: Adam is really cute, Mike. Just adorable.

Cat Door: Yeah, well he thinks you're pretty hot too.

Me: Me? Really?

Cat Door: Oh yeah. He talked about you the whole way over here. "Uncle Mike, she is HOT. I mean, she is beautiful. And did you see her boobs?"

Me: Oh my God. See, I knew I shouldn't have worn this today. I am totally embarrassed.

Cat Door: Well, he thinks you're my best-looking customer and he's volunteered to help me with your bathroom job. Not to mention I think he's too embarrassed to stand up right now, if you know what I mean.

Me: Holy damn, that is just wrong! Okay, let's go on in so I can get this done and get back to the office.

And at this point, I decide to do something that is probably wrong. Really wrong.

I pulled down the neckline of my top so that it's low. Really low. There were boobs everywhere.

We walked in and immediately the sales guys were falling all over themselves. The manager finally came over and took charge, and I notice as I'm perusing the samples that he's giving the other guys in the shop the hairy eyeball. So I leeeeeaned over the table and pushed one sample toward him.

Me: How much is this a square foot?

SalesDude: That's running around $40. Well, usually $42, but I think I can help you out on that.

This went on for about 20 minutes, and I walked out with two potential samples and the admiration of Cat Door. Apparently, I was getting quotes that were $2 - 3 a square foot cheaper than the price he'd been getting.

It's the power of the boobs. And I think Cat Door is either going to start taking me with him to negotiate with these places for his customers, or he's going to try and buy a set himself although I think it's not quite going to have the same effect.


Tanaya said...

Haaaa!!! I love it. I just bought one of those demi shaping bras and they are the shit...Mister says I need them in every color. So what is the style of your secret negotiating weapon?

Esmerelda said...


I have that bra and it nearly got me fired. (see my post on my Boobs Runneth Over)

I love that bra.

Builder Mama said...

Tanaya, it's the Secret Embrace Very Sexy Push-Up Bra. In brown leopard. And not only does it push those suckers up, I love that hidden underwire - it's seriously comfy. Boobs and comfort, two of my favorite things!

LMAO Es - I remember that all too well! Save it for really serious things at work, like your yearly performance reviews. Works like a charm.

Heather said...

All hail the power of the boobie.

g-man said...

Yup! You had my rapt attention though out. (Although I could stand up at the end) Which isn't to say that you are not hot, just that I am old. :) Poor kid, I bet you don't want to know why he took so long in the bathroom later using your image as boner fuel.

Hell if it would save a few bucks on our next home project I'd be OK with H hiking up her shirt and showing off her goodies.

Again, good post, and thank you.

Mitzi Green said...

yeah, dudes with boobs--not so hot. they just get laughed at.

Mayberrys said...

I'm going to have to get me one of those....oh wait, you need BOOBS to put in them, right?
All I have is deflated pancakes...