Monday, July 16, 2007

Satan and his minions

EPOD is on vacation this week, and The Fox has left the building. That means one thing, and one thing only.

The Return of Chachi.

It's been so lovely, so peaceful, so downright relaxing without him around the office that I had forgotten exactly how jarring his presence can be. It's not that I hate him - he's pretty charming and funny, but he's like a bull in a china shop most of the time. At least 25 times today he came in my office slamming around in the filing cabinets looking for things that were, of course, right in front of him.

By 10 AM I had completely had my fill of him. I decided to opt for a long and leisurely lunch in the hopes that by the time I got back, he'd be gone to lunch as well. It worked well and I suspect that I will use this tactic for the remainder of the week.

Who I really feel sorry for is Doug the Intern. Chachi ran him ragged all day long today, and the poor kid started to lose that shiny smiling face by around 3:00. Doug is like that enthusiastic little puppy that ends up getting kicked and comes back thinking things will be different. And gets kicked again. Finally, he came in my office this afternoon and announced, "I am so ready for EPOD to come back." Now that's bad.

So I was trying to find a picture of Chachi and ended up finding one from our office Christmas party from two years ago. Now you can see some of the recurring characters from my blog:

Starting from the bottom row, the dude in the yellow sweater is EPOD. He looks so innocent there, but don't let that fool you. The man is Satan in a sweater.

Next to EPOD are two of the chicks from the office - Christine is in the red jacket, and Teri is in the burgundy sweater. Neither of them are on our team, however they both worked with EPOD at other companies and got suckered into getting in the picture.

On the top row from the left, of course is me. Probably like 20 pounds heavier, right in the middle of the big Weight Watchers diet. So you can see the difference, this was taken in December 2005, and my profile picture was taken in February 2006. BIG DIFFERENCE. Next to me is the infamous SG, or as I'm calling him lately "Nine Fingers." Did I tell y'all that he cut part of his finger off a few months ago? Ouch.

Next to SG is Chachi. Notice the youthfulness. I swear to God that he looks about 12 years old. Now that he's been out on site, he has stopped shaving and hasn't had a haircut in forever, which makes him look much older. Like maybe 17. And of course, his real name isn't Chachi but it does kind of fit him well.

And last, but certainly not least, is Cat Door M. His real name is Mike. And yes, he is a goofy motherfucker as evidenced by the expression on his face. His wife took this picture of all of us. And yes, we are all drunk as shit. And at the time we had the picture taken, Mike's wife had presented me with my Christmas present which was a very interesting book.

You can't see it, but the book she gave me was called "The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex." And so EPOD opens the book, and just like Mr. Rogers in his little sweater starts reading the chapter titles out loud:

Bad Girls Play with Toys
Bad Girls Love to Climax
Bad Girls Know How to Talk Sexy, In and Out of Bed
Bad Girls Feel Good about Being Bad

And so on. Now, I sort of question why she thought this was an appropriate book to give me at an office Christmas party, but who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth? And as you can see, we were literally dying laughing.

So as much as I complain about them, I really have had the chance to work with some really cool and fun people. Including EPOD.

Hopefully tomorrow, instead of wanting to strangle him, I can find some embarrassing pictures of Chachi at the Christmas party and laugh secretly to myself. That might get me through the week.


Heather said...

Hope that you can find effective Chachi management skillz this week! Maybe she gave you the book at the party just for the reaction she got?

hotlipz said...

Not at all how I pictured Cat Door M. I thought he was an old guy?

Builder Mama said...

H to the L -

No, he just acts like an old codger a lot of the time. He's actually 41. Do you think I'd have someone that old on my laminated list of replacement husbands? I'm not Anna Nicole, for God's sake (not to mention he's not a billionaire).

joansy said...

It's so great to have faces to go with the stories.

I want that book.

Gretchen said...

Satan it a sweater... Bwahahaha!

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

Making fun of coworkers is the BEST. ;)

g-man said...

I was trying to think up something Photoshop to do with that, and am drawing a blank.