Recently I discovered the miracle of life known as Pimento Cheese Spread thanks to Cat Door M. I'm not sure at this point if I should smack him or thank him (although I'm leaning toward the smacking part but knowing him he'd totally get off on that). Apparently his dad's girlfriend is the master of homemade pimento cheese so of course I was intrigued, especially when as he was describing how good it was he was having an out-of-body experience.
Now, keep in mind - I had never had it previously. I mean, pimentos? Ewwww. And isn't this something that old ladies eat while sitting on the veranda drinking mint juleps? But it is one of my mom's favorite things. So we dug up a recipe from The Goddess of Fattening Food, Paula Deen, and whipped some up a few weeks ago.
Oh. My. God. This shit is goooood. Good on regular Club crackers. Good on multi-grain crackers. Good on toasted wheat bread. Good as a grilled cheese sandwich. Good smeared on certain body parts...okay, I'm totally out of control. Somebody stop me! I've made two batches at home since then. I took some to the Joisey-fest on New Year's Eve and what didn't get polished off that night was eaten the next morning as a good hangover remedy. So you see, it has multiple uses - snacking, sexual aid, and hangover remedy! I should totally patent this.
Anyhow, here you go. I am assuming that if you're watching the calories (like most of us are delusional enough to attempt in January) you could use low-fat cream cheese and mayonnaise - I'd probably do low-fat cheese but not non-fat since that's kind of pointless anyway. Non-fat cheese should be illegal.
Bobby's Pimento Cheese (Paula Deen)
Yields approximately 2-1/2 - 3 cups
One 3-oz. package cream cheese, softened
1 cup grated sharp cheddar cheese
1 cup grated monterey jack cheese
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/2 teaspoon House Seasoning (this is 1/4 tsp. salt, 1/8 tsp. ground black pepper, 1/8 tsp. garlic powder)
2 - 3 tablespoons mashed pimentos
1 tsp. grated onion (optional - I leave this out)
Cracked black pepper to taste
With an electric mixer, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Add remaining ingredients and beat until well blended. I like to refrigerate this a while before eating so the flavors blend well together. Also, I find that if the cheeses are pretty close to room temperature they blend better, and the finer you grate the cheese the better it is in my opinion. Mom prefers hers a little more on the coarse side.