Yesterday was like my first full day at work in weeks. And in true Clueless Coworker Style, I had more idiots come up and ask me how I was managing to take all this "vacation time" this year. Jackasses. Some people might think that I'm a lucky girl for getting to lay out for a while, but I tell you this - I'd trade the past 2.5 months of hell anyday for my worst day at work. So there. Not to mention the fact that when you start dreaming about Pucca, it's time to go back to work.
Eeyore was being a total dickhead yesterday, to the point where by 8:30 AM I was ready to pack up my shit in a cardboard box and tell him to go fuck himself. Now, Eeyore and I have a unique relationship in that most of the time I can shut his door and we can spill it all out on the desk and then it's all sunshine and happiness yet again.
But not yesterday. I was so agitated that I could barely stand myself. I went to lunch with Beth and even had a covert margarita that didn't help my mood whatsoever.
Cat Door M came by the office yesterday - he did some work at my friend Laurie's house earlier in the week, and then worked at my friend Cathy's house yesterday, so he was skanking into our office to pick up some checks so he could do things like buy more motorcycle crap and lap dances. Remember, if you will, that Cat Door M and I used to work together along with Eeyore and Chachi and SG.
I cruised by Eeyore's office and spied Cat Door in there trying for the umpteenth time to convince Eeyore that he's really doing well running his own business. (Which is always a huge mistake and ends up in me spending an hour in Eeyore's office after Cat Door leaves so Eeyore can analyze every word Cat Door has said. I'm telling you, the man has issues.)
So what did I do? I have no idea what came over me, but I walked in there and gave Cat Door a good, sharp kick in the leg. "Come see me in my office when you're done here," I snarled.
About 15 minutes later he stormed into my office and shut the door behind him.
"What the fuck was that all about?"
"Well, you see, if I kick Eeyore like I really want to, then he'll fire me. But if I kick you instead, not only will I feel better but I know you'll still love me anyway."
"Okay, after working with him for so long I can totally understand that. But next time, can you try to not leave a heel print in my shin?"
Okay, so what am I, like 8 years old? But damn, did that feel good. And rest assured, I think the rest of my friends will be thanking Cat Door for taking a bullet for the team. What a friend!
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