I finally got my application faux pas worked out and just spent the last hour filling out an online personality evaluation.
You are too freaking adorable. I could watch you on the puppycam all day long if I didn't have an actual job to do.
But do me a favor, please? Stop chewing on your brother's head.
And also, if you could find a way to sleep without displaying your junk to the world, that would be lovely. Modesty is highly underrated.
Your Hooman Mom
It's amazing how many times and how many different ways they can ask you if stealing is wrong. Or if you like people. Or if you can accept being told what to do with no recourse.
What I probably *should* say? Hello, I really would like this job. I'm a team player that never hesitates to pitch in whenever and wherever needed, I work quickly and enjoy repetitive tasks.
What I *want* to say? Yo, Holmes. Give me this damn job, preferably at what I'm already making and if possible, close to the building with the Starbucks in it. Oh, and I don't really like to work all that hard, so if you can keep it easy on the workload, m'kay?