Well, hello there! Where the hell have you been?
You know I have to turn this around on you. Because another pathetic apology for not posting just isn't gonna happen.
I've missed you guys. And I'm out of flex spending money for therapy, so there you go.
Just to give you an idea of how things have been for the last few months - it's pretty pathetic that the success of your day is measured by whether you're on the employee phone list or not. It's almost like a daily dose of Russian roulette to see if a new phone list is sent out and hey, am I on it or not?
I have to admit, there are some days when I'm disappointed that they don't hand me a box and tell me to get out. Living in limbo for the last year has really sucked.
A week ago, they let Brandon go and let me and EPOD know in no uncertain terms that we were on the bubble as well. I am probably safer than EPOD is, but not by much. That job I inherited - or rather, had shoved down my throat - back in August literally saved my ass. For now.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, things were kicking along. I turned 40 and celebrated with a trip to Florida for a long weekend that turned out to be possibly the rainiest five days in Florida's history. Have you ever ridden on a roller coaster in the pouring rain? It's kind of like a swiss shower at a spa. Unfortunately, sitting around in a wet poncho in the humidity makes you feel like you're in a Reynolds Oven Bag.
Two days after my birthday, I got an email from my brother Dave - remember the one who had the heart issues that kept him from coming for my dad's birthday in July? Well, Mr. Health Nut Vegetarian, Bike-Until-My-Testicles-Scream ended up having to have an angioplasty due to some blockages in two of his arteries. The doctors were baffled so they ran a barrage of tests and he found out what the problem is and his doctor strongly advised that his siblings get tested too, because it's genetic.
And, as the winner of the My Life is Crap This Year Lottery, I have it too. It's called elevated Lp(a), which is a lipoprotein in your blood that acts like plaque and causes clogs. Even if your LDL and HDL cholesterol numbers are good, or even great, we are still 65% more likely to have a heart attack or stroke than your average person.
Well, happy birthday to me.
What does this mean for me? Well, basically a whole lifestyle change. Low fat, high fiber, lots of exercise, and medication for the rest of my life. The good news is we caught it early before I got as bad as my brother - his level is quadruple what mine is. So I feel pretty good about my chances.
It's not a death sentence, it's a life change. Or at least that's what I remind myself as I'm choking down whatever concoction I've dreamed up in my efforts to make something that tastes good and is good for me.
I could go on and on, but that's pretty much where I've been. Nothing like a good health scare and possible unemployment to derail you. But I'm still plugging along. Working on my inside and my outside. And making plans for the future.
If you're still around, get ready for some low-fat, high fiber goodness with a side of bitchiness.