Today was my annual review. Usually I look forward to them with a mix of anticipation and nerves - because I know they're always going to be pretty favorable and of course, I'll get a little more moolah.
I know the economy is in the shitter. The local marketplace has really slowed down. We, however, seem to be doing just fine. So I listened to EPOD's boss - who handles all of our reviews - go on and on about how fortunate my company is to remain pretty much untouched by the whole recession thing. My eyes started to glaze over, in all likelihood, because it's pretty much the same stuff every year.
I have never, until the 4 years ago when I went to work for EPOD, have a situation where my direct boss really didn't review my performance. Now, EPOD fills out the form, and then his boss basically does whatever the hell he wants to. Most of the time we end up shooting the shit for 15 minutes, I get my raise and we're done.
There was no raise this year. Despite the fact that when EPOD was finally allowed to speak I had the most glowing review ever. According to EPOD's boss, "we're not really doing much this year for anyone, and I'm not going to be able to give you anything this year..." and at that point, I pretty much mentally checked out of the review process.
The kicker to all of this is that he didn't even fucking read my review from EPOD prior to the second I walked into his office. Seriously, he had already made up his mind what he was going to do before either EPOD or I got in there. The look on EPOD's face when his boss dropped the bomb that I wasn't going to get a raise this year was priceless...a mix of shock and disgust.
Later on, I was beckoned into EPOD's office where he profusely apologized and assured me that 1.) if he'd had any idea that I was going to get the shaft, he would've certainly prepped me so I wasn't caught with that "deer in the headlights look", and 2.) the lack of raise certainly didn't reflect on my performance this year. Period.
While that was all nice and warm and fuzzy, it left me with a serious case of the pissies. Yes, I'm one of the senior females in the office. I'm probably at the top of my pay range. And yes, in this day and time I am so lucky to even have a job so I probably should quit bitching now, right?
But what I was left feeling like was that the decision - which obviously wasn't made based on my performance - was probably based on the fact that I am in the fortunate position of not needing to rely on my salary to put food in my family's mouths or make my mortgage payment. And while yes, I'm thankful for that, I'm pissed as hell. Since when did that become grounds for deciding if someone deserves additional compensation? Hell, I would've been happy with a mere cost of living increase.
Add to this that we've now entered Week 8 of Coughstravaganza 2008 and my attitude is decidedly shitty. Sorry. And if you're one of my friends, I'm not avoiding you as much as saving you from me either ripping your head off and stuffing it down your throat or the unpleasant idea of me bursting into tears because I missed last night's episode of Top Chef. Sleep deprivation is a bitch, my friends.
On a much more pleasant note, Heather of Mama Maven fame is headed here tomorrow where we have plans to run the 8K on Saturday (if the weather holds out, and by run I mean "stagger until I drop into the gutter and show up on the front page of the Sports Section in the Embarrassment Column"), celebrate Monkey Man's birthday with a passel of Badasses, and catch up on some good girlie time. I love spending time with Maven! So it will be all good.
Tomorrow is the asthma test. Joey will be handling that, while I will be at work attempting to put on a happy face. Or not.