Pretty much that I am so farking tired that I can barely see straight. And Maven, you have my permission to bitchslap me for whining about lack of sleep. Totally. Monkey Man has this odd allergy/cough thing going on, which mostly seems to manifest itself in spells lasting 20 minutes every 3 hours at night. Not fun. The last two nights have ended up with me sleeping in the guest room with the monitor because when your husband has to be as sharp as a tack to bid work, you lose the "I get to sleep" contest.
Well, last night wasn't really because of him having a heavy bid schedule. When he walked in the door last night, he was on his cell phone with someone and by the look on his face I thought someone had died. He literally had no blood left in his face.
When he hung up, he told me that he had just found out that he'd been subpoenaed to appear in court today. This was to testify in a lawsuit that his company was formerly named in, but eventually the judge removed the company from the suit and deemed them not responsible. Basically, about 10 years ago they did some work on a huge office building, the work failed and had to be completely replaced (by another contractor to add insult to injury), and the owner of the building was going after Joey's company and the material manufacturer for damages. The saving grace for Joey's company was that the part of the work that failed was actually installed by the manufacturer themselves - not his company. Whew. Talk about dodging a million-dollar bullet.
I should note at this point that my husband, who formerly worked for a huge textile manufacturer that made cloth for menswear and had to wear a suit and tie every day of the week, hates to dress in anything other than - well - something that would make Tim Gunn blush. His "dressy" outfits for work are company-logo polo shirts and khaki pants. And he doesn't even really like to wear those, if he had his druthers he'd wear this t-shirt that someone gave him about 15 years ago from Emerald Isle that says, "The more hair I lose, the more head I get." Classy, huh?
So when he was talking about having to appear in court, I reminded him that it was entirely appropriate to dress nicely for court - namely, wearing at least a nice button-up shirt and a sportscoat. No tie, although that would be a nice touch. Well, you would have thought I asked him to remove his testicles with a plastic serrated knife - he immediately launched into the biggest hissy fit this side short of Scarlett O'Hara.
Did I mention that he hates to dress up?
So at this point, he launches into a tirade about this is why he quit his corporate job, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
And Monkey Man, who isn't exactly a fan of wearing "handsome shirts" (a.k.a. anything other than a t-shirt), places his hand on Joey's arm and says, "Daddy, I don't like wearing handsome shirts either, but sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do."
Anyhow, I eventually convinced him to stick a shirt and sportscoat in the Pimp Mobile so that he could change right before he left for court, and then change upon returning to the office. And after all that, the case was continued until April 2008.
Apparently, though, I might have been too hasty in my recommendation for courtroom wardrobe. Mrs. Cat Door had to go to traffic court yesterday right up the road from here and one of the female defendants was wearing spandex shorts and a tube top. In December.
I just hope Joey doesn't find out, or that Emerald Isle t-shirt is bound to be on him when he goes in April.