The mysteries of the male mind

This morning, on the way to work I was talking to Joey on my cell phone:

"And you know, once I give Malcolm this check then these two businesses will be up and running...."

"What? Two businesses? What are you talking about?"

"You know. I know I told you. Those two limited partnerships we're setting up."

"I remember something about dumpsters. That's it."

So then he proceeds to go into a 10-minute diatribe how he knows he told me but blah blah blah more information I don't know, blah blah blah...I am starting to fade away...

"So basically this means we have no extra money to spend on stuff until we recoup our money."

"But wait - you've had me running all over looking at options for a bathroom remodel. If we can't do it, I need to let Cat Door know so he's not counting on that work...."

"Did you not listen to a word I said? I never said we didn't have the money to do it."

Um, okay, so what exactly did the phrase "we have no extra money to spend" mean?

*****

I'm in the breakroom making a piece of toast when I hear my phone ring. It's Cat Door, calling to say goodbye before he heads off to Vegas...

"So, how's your foot?"

"My foot? Pretty good, probably around 90% but only because I've been up at my wife's clinic with my foot in an ice bath four times a day since Monday morning. But honestly, I'm kinda down in the dumps."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Well, one of my buddies just called and he got like the best job EVER. Replacing the stripper poles at The Moon. I asked him if he needed help, and he said no. I'm kinda bummed out about it."

"Um, Cat Door, did you ever stop to think that maybe they wouldn't let him install them during actual business hours? So the chances of you actually seeing a real, honest stripper while you were working there would be slim-to-none?"

Dead silence. Methinks he didn't actually think about that fact. But he seemed awfully chipper after that.

*****

I pick up Monkey Man and his friend Josh at their afterschool program today. In an effort to avoid having any singalongs like we had the other day, I decide to put in Def Leppard.

"Josh, have you ever heard Def Leppard?"

"Yeah, my mommy likes them."

"My mommy does too. But you know who is really cool? Kiss. My daddy loves them. Kiss rocks!"

*****

I'm not sure what scares me more - these individual conversations, or that they all happened on one day.