Saturday, August 25, 2007

Anyone smell bacon?

Before I start, can I just say that I hate Blogger? Sorry for the wonky look of this post, because I can't get the damn thing to cooperate.

Now, on with the show!

*******


Wow. I mean, wow. The laser hair removal thing wasn't nearly as bad as I thought....

Before








Procedure time!









After. Great results!

(Thanks, G-Man. I laughed. A LOT.)
So here's the scoop on the whole deal. I decided to go in and get my upper lip and bikini line done. The upper lip is kind of a stupid thing - honestly, unless you are THISCLOSE to me, you don't see anything - not to mention that even if you are THISCLOSE it's barely anything. It's me being vain, okay? The bikini line thing, as well-documented on this blog, is an attempt to not need any more skin grafts from all the botched waxing.
So I went in last Monday for a few test spots and it went pretty well - no reactions, no swelling, etc. At the time, the lady who was helping train Celeste on the laser told me that I needed to prepare my bikini area properly for the laser. Um, what exactly does that mean? Well, trim up the "keeper" areas and shave the areas I wanted lasered about two days beforehand so that we had some stubble. The way the laser works is that it's drawn to the dark pigment of hair - so if you have very light hair it won't work well, if you shave too closely it won't work well plus it will be hard for the technician to see what areas have been lasered and what hasn't. Reason being that the little stubble is basically turned to ashes. Not to mention they don't want any long hair present in case it catches on fire. Yikes.
So I went on in yesterday with a pretty good attitude. As I laid there on the table in my little paper panties, Celeste and the other lady came in and started discussing what they were going to do. I think the lady was way disappointed that I didn't want a full brazillian laser, but honestly there was no way in hell that I was letting a laser anywhere close to parts that I might need later if you catch my drift. No way.
As I laid there while they discussed the procedure, I wandered into thoughts of the crisis I'd left at the office, what kind of pie I was going to make, what I was going to pick to wear to dinner....
YEEEOUCH. She was lasering in areas that, um, were a little close to areas that should remain unseen by strangers. Apparently, her clients like it that way. Me, not so much - but at that point it was too late to turn back so I sucked it up and went on.
It all turned out okay, although as I told Joey later it was a little strange being manhandled by two women who were basically pulling my crotch into unnatural positions. Not to mention that parts of it really tickled like hell and I couldn't stop giggling. Or maybe it was the thought of someone walking in that room to see the scene that was taking place.
My bikini line is a little red - no more so than a regular razor burn that I typically get - but nothing hurts. At least not yet. And it will take a minimum of three treatments on my bikini line. Next time, I'm bringing some bourbon.
*****
Dinner last night was fun. Mrs. Cat Door was in an uncharacteristically good mood. She is a college professor and the students came back this week - she does student placement for their clinical practicums and spent this week working on her 3rd year students who were all following her into the restroom and saying, "But if I get that job in PoDunk, it will be the end of the world!" So she was pretty much ready to kick back, have some wine, and just enjoy. The key with her is to let her feel like she's being the entertainment - which is okay, because the other choice is her acting like a big beeyotch and sulking because she feels like everyone else is having fun without her involvement.
Cat Door presented Monkey Man with yet another motorcycle. I swear to God, the guy thinks a motorcycle is the cure for anything that ails ya. But it was very sweet. And he was hilarious, as usual. I was thinking this morning, when I met him over three years ago I really hated him. And eventually, over time, I discovered what a nice guy he is and he's been a really great friend.
And the pie...Lord, the pie. It was good. Warm Apple-Buttermilk Custard Pie, with a streusel topping. It's a Cooking Light Magazine recipe, but it is gooooood. Not to mention you can counteract the whole healthy thing like we did by adding some vanilla ice cream. Hot damn. Cat Door ended up stealing the rest of the pie to take home, the bastard. Good thing I have more apples because I will be making another pie this weekend for US.
Warm Apple-Buttermilk Custard Pie
Ingredients

Crust:
1/2 (15-ounce) package refrigerated pie dough (such as Pillsbury)
Cooking spray
Streusel:
1/3 cup all purpose flour
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 1/2 tablespoons chilled butter, cut into small pieces
Filling:
5 cups sliced peeled Granny Smith apple (about 2 pounds)
1 cup granulated sugar, divided
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 large eggs
1 3/4 cups fat-free buttermilk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preparation
Preheat oven to 325º.

To prepare crust, roll dough into a 14-inch circle; fit into a 9-inch deepdish pie plate coated with cooking spray. Fold edges under; flute. Place pie plate in refrigerator until ready to use.

To prepare streusel, lightly spoon 1/3 cup flour into a dry measuring cup; level with a knife. Combine 1/3 cup flour, brown sugar, and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon in a medium bowl; cut in butter with a pastry blender or 2 knives until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Place streusel in refrigerator.

To prepare the filling, heat a large nonstrick skillet coated with cookig spray over medium heat. Add sliced apple, 1/4 cup granulated sugar, and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon; cook 10 minutes or until the apple is tender, sitrring mixture occasionally. Spoon the apple mixture into prepared crust.

Combine remaining 3/4 cup granulated sugar, 2 tablespoons flour, salt, and eggs, stirring with a whisk. Stir in buttermilk and vanilla. Pour over apple mixture. Bake at 325º for 30 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 300º (do not remove pie from oven); sprinkle streusel over pie. Bake at 300º for 40 minutes or until set. Let stand 1 hour before serving.

Yield 10 servings

Nutritional Information
CALORIES 317(29% from fat); FAT 10.1g (sat 4.6g,mono 3g,poly 1.2g); PROTEIN 5g; CHOLESTEROL 76mg; CALCIUM 73mg; SODIUM 230mg; FIBER 1.3g; IRON 0.8mg; CARBOHYDRATE 52.6g

Cooking Light, MARCH 2003

6 comments:

hotlipz said...

Stacey got that laser hair removal done basically all over her body, face, pits, legs, cooch. She got the full Brazillian and she said she was up on the table on her knees, ass in the air, and she had to spread her own buttcheeks with popsicle sticks while they lasered her asshole. That's hot!

But she's only mildly pleased with the results. She's been back no less than 10 times and she says she still gets random hairs on a regular basis. I'm interested to hear someone else's experience with it.

Esmerelda said...

I sooo want hair removal.

g-man said...

Hotlipz- Now THAT I'd like to photograph! That is just too damned funny. Apparently butt hole and laser cause me to laugh out loud!

Liz- You are so welcome. You are such a good sport when I get a wild hair ;) Love ya - Mean it.

Builder Mama said...

Hotlipz, she did the brazilian? Holy shit. I mean really, she must have an ass of steel. And the visual of the popsicle sticks is almost more than I can stand right now!

Es, make sure you follow along. Next appointment is in 5 weeks.

G-Man, anything for you, babe. Cat Door was asking me last night what you'd made for me lately, I think he's a little jealous. We will have to do another old codger photoshop job on his ass again soon. Love ya, mean it!

Heather said...

Gee what talent he has eh? Sounds like it was interesting, I'll stick to a suit with a skirt thank you very much!

The pie sounds wonderful and nothing particularly light about it--I am guessing the un-light version must have 1000 calories!

kristi said...

Nope, no way someone is getting near my hoo ha. Except for hubs that is.