Koo koo kachoo, Mrs. Robinson

Today was Monkey Man's first swimming lesson. Joey has been teasing me for a week about the fact that MM was either going to get some hot chick as his teacher, or some hunky teenage boy would be the lucky winner of the "get the kid to actually get his face wet" contest.

Monkey Man was pretty apprehensive. I mean, the kid absolutely detests getting his face wet and I have been trying to teach him a little bit of basic stuff like blowing bubbles and holding onto the edge of the pool and kicking. Really, none of it went very well. And I spent most of this afternoon with my stomach in a knot thinking about the fact we prepaid for ten lessons and my kid would probably be at Lesson 10 still refusing to put his face in the water.

Enter Wes. He called the house yesterday when I had MM at the pool and told Joey that he was going to be the swimming teacher and said we could pretty much pick any day or time we wanted. So of course, I figured why not start today. Might as well begin the torture immediately, right?

We got to the pool about 30 minutes early so that Monkey Man could get a little fun time in before the torture. I kept looking around at the teenagers who work for our pool management company and wondered which one was Wes. Seriously, these guys all looked like you could snap them in half with one hand. Blindfolded. And while missing three fingers on that hand. Let's just say that my confidence wasn't bolstered by the appearance of kids that barely looked old enough to drive, let alone take my kid in water and try to get him to swim.

So at 6:00 sharp, we paraded over to the guard's table and asked if they knew where Wes was. And lo and behold, he appeared from the locker room.

Monkey Man was instantly enamored. Wes shook his hand and I explained that MM had no swimming experience, had trouble putting his face in the water, and wished him luck. I then headed over to the other side of the pool complex to swim laps and covertly spy on the lessons. He started MM off slowly, sitting on the steps and getting him to put his face in the water. By the end he had him using a kickboard (with assistance) and also putting his entire head in the water. I was duly impressed.

As I stood to the side watching, one of the Badasses came by to chat. "Oh, Monkey Man's taking lessons today? Is Wes his teacher? He is just yummy. Oh, and he's a good teacher too. You will really like him."

And you know, I hadn't really noticed. He's probably 19, is at least 6'-3" tall, has sandy brown hair, blue eyes, and really white teeth. And braces. When the lesson was over and he came over to talk to me about the next session and discuss how MM did, I looked at him closely and honestly if I was like, oh, 15 years younger I would be so all over that. He is hot. The teenage girls were all hanging around by the side of the pool, just hoping that he would acknowledge them. And he didn't - he was a total professional and handled the lesson very well.

So there you have it. My son's 19-year-old swimming teacher is hot. And I am such a dirty old lady. Although Mommy might need some remedial swimming lessons now....

Ahem. So the lesson was a big success and MM is already talking about his next lesson. I take that as a very, very good sign. Not to mention that he thinks Wes is the coolest guy ever and will probably do anything to show off.