Independence from insanity

Happy 4th, y'all.

By 8:30 this morning, Monkey Man and I had already dined at Panera and picked up the fixings at Kroger to make dessert for tonight's cookout. Now that I've finished destroying my kitchen, I'm taking a break while waiting for the dishwasher to finish running so I can throw the crap in there from fixing the dessert. More on this in a bit....

So today is Independence Day. And I have declared my independence from the insanity that is my in-laws. Y'all aren't going to believe this one. Just when I think my in-laws have reached a new stratosphere in stupidity, they come up with something else that leaves me shaking my head.

Their beloved dog Blue died two weeks ago. They had Blue for about three years and she was a really sweet dog that they doted on. Ironically, they have always treated their dogs better than their own sons, but that's another post for another time. Anyway, my MIL has been weeping almost daily about missing Blue so I guess FIL finally relented and said they should get another dog.

Enter my brother-in-law into this scenario. His wife has a friend whose son (19 years old) had a dog for 1.5 years and never took care of it so she told the son they had to get rid of the dog. And of course, my brother-in-law thinks that this would be a perfect dog for my in-laws. This is also the moron that got a Wiemeraner (hunting dog that requires daily exercising) when they lived in a 1200 SF house and both worked full-time and had a newborn, but whatever. The dog ate a hole in their couch it was so bored.

My in-laws are hugely overweight and lazy. So what better pet to get them than an Australian Shepherd. A working dog with behavioral issues. Perfect! I give it two weeks before my FIL takes the dog into the woods and shoots his ass. I know with Rufus, who is also a working dog, he has to have a job or he is a total pain in the ass. And he's actually one of the most mellow working dogs I've ever seen.

So besides this fact, the dog apparently hadn't had shots in a while nor had it been neutered. So that was money that they had to pay for that. And then my MIL tells Joey last night that they want to get an invisible fence for the dog. We looked at each other and shook our heads - not only have they had like 10 dogs in the time they've lived in this house, they live on a 38-acre farm in the middle of no freaking where and have yet to have a dog get hit by a car. So why suddenly are they so insistent on getting an invisible fence?

"Ma, skip the fence. Do you realize how much they cost?" Joey asked. No, she had no idea. And then Joey told her that it would be thousands of dollars and that was that.

So after the other week, I am just done. They don't have money to get their air conditioning fixed, but they do have money to get a fucking dog, get it the required shots and get it neutered, and then to get a fence? Or maybe they thought we were going to buy the fence for them? Um, NO.

Argh. All I have to say is thank God for Maker's Mark, because it at least took the edge off my anger last night so that I didn't even say a word to Joey or give him a shitty look either. I'm trying, even if it requires self-medicating. Is that bad? No, in reality, I've kind of come to the point again where I have to readjust my attitude. I can't control them, but I can control my reactions to them. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Tonight we are going to my sister's house for a barbeque - not exactly sure who will be there but she has a core group of friends who are usually present and I think secretly that my sister really doesn't give a rat's ass about us coming unless we bring Monkey Man. I think she's told me like 10,000 times how excited she is to see him, which is totally cool. He loves his Aunt Kathie. And we love Aunt Kathie too.

This behemoth dessert that I threw together is kind of messy to make, but damn is it good. I got the recipe a few years ago from Bon Appetit magazine on a feature they did on Hawaii and this coffee shop that makes this. It is gooood. I made two dishes of it just in case.

Kauai "Pie" Ice Cream (courtesy Bon Appetit Magazine)
Serves 12

6 tbsp. whipping cream
6 tbsp. (3/4 stick) butter
6 tbsp. light corn syrup
6 tbsp. powdered sugar
7 oz. bittersweet chocolate (NOT unsweetened) or semi-sweet chocolate, broken into small pieces for melting
3 pints coffee ice cream, slightly softened
1-1/2 cups of 1/2" pieces of shortbread cookies (about 5 oz.)
1 7-oz. jar dry-roasted salted macadamia nuts, coarsely chopped
3/4 cup sweetened shredded coconut, toasted

Bring first 4 ingredients to simmer in heavy saucepan over medium heat, whisking occasionally. Remove from heat. Add chocolate and whisk until melted and smooth. Cool.

Spread half of ice cream in 8-inch square glass baking dish. Sprinkle with half of shortbread, macadamia nuts, and toasted coconut; press to submerge. Drizzle 3/4 cup fudge sauce over. Repeat layering with remaining ingredients (dish will be full) and drizzle with more fudge sauce (save extra for another use). Freeze until firm, about 3 hours. Scoop ice cream into bowls and serve.

Can be made 3 days ahead - cover and keep frozen.