Monday, July 30, 2007

How to survive your 20th high school reunion

Make sure your alcoholic beverages are securely strapped inside your PimpMobile. Cuz ya don't want any spillage, yo. Especially since it's BYOB at the dayum Moose Lodge.

Grab your nametag. Try to ignore the fact that you not only had a mullet in 1987, but a freaking spike cut too. Multitasking at such a young age.

Find out that your former best friend is a bonafide alcoholic with his 10th DUI and so much brain damage from alcohol that you can't understand a single damn word he says. Plus he looks like he's about 50, doesn't he? Kids, if this isn't enough to make you sober up, nothing is.

Find your old college roommate that you lost touch with 15 years ago. Promise that this time you'll stay in touch, especially since he lost that bitchy ex-wife of his.

Pose for the obligatory class picture that no one will stand still for. Hide in the back hoping no one will notice that you're bald.

Last, but not least, wait until you've sweated your ass off at the Moose Lodge for three hours before finally allowing yourself to have your picture taken with your wife. Who, by the way, looks a whole lot damn better than your high school girlfriend. But who's comparing.


joansy said...

The picture of the drunk guy is probably my favorite.
No, I think it's the picture of the mullet.
And you look especially great. Where is the picture of the high school girlfriend?

Heather said...

You look freaking awesome! Thank goodness we didn't have picture nametags for mine--as someone said, the wouldn't have fit! Drunk friend is really sad. Love the properly secured cooler.

Builder Mama said...

Aww, thanks y'all. Yeah, Joey didn't actually tell me who she was until after we had safely left the reunion, probably so I wouldn't try comparing notes with her. Pretty girl, but probably tips the scale at a conservative 350 pounds. From the pictures I have seen, she was skinny as a rail so he was pretty shocked.

g-man said...

See that is how I should have started H's reunion. :) Glad you survived. It was not a tube top but close enough ;)

Heather said...

The dangers of the Blackberry--that should have said the HAIR wouldn't have fit.

Tanaya said...

Hey, you looked hot! When I asked for mullet pictures, I didn't realize it would be Joey's. I hope you had a just a little fun.

Mitzi Green said...


that's okay, joey--i think we ALL had mullets in 87...

Tree said...

The alcoholic buddy is frightening. Seriously. Way more scary then Joey's 'do in 1987, which was really quite classic for the time.

You look way hot, BM!