Still alive and kicking

I guess maybe I've needed a little bit of a blog break lately - honestly, do y'all really want to hear a bunch of bitching and whining? Don't you get enough of that shit at home?

There's been so much stuff going on lately that I don't even know where to start. So I guess I'll kind of bullet-point it all as succinctly as possible. Which for me is pretty much next to impossible.

Work has been nuts. Just ask my friends who instant-message and call me only to get my voice mail or a dead screen. This new grocery store project of mine is turning into a full-time job. The Fox, who is the project manager on this job, is seriously turning into one of my favorite people that I've ever worked with. He's to-the-point, doesn't treat me like a secretary, and the fact that he's easy on the eyes makes my days so much better. The guy is built like a brick shithouse and I am enjoying it to no end.

I'm sorry, did I say that out loud? Ahem.

EPOD is still on the scene but has been out of the office way more than he's been in the office. No complaints here about that. Chachi moved out of the office next to me as of Friday and The Fox moved on in there. Color me happy. At least I won't have to hear a running commentary of the odors emanating from the men's room anymore.

Joey's office renovations - being handled by Cat Door M - are entering Week Umpteengazillion and finally last week I had to tell each one of them that I didn't want to hear one more complaint about the other one. Really, Cat Door is complaining about Malcolm and not Joey, probably because Malcolm is calling the shots and writing the checks. But I went by the office yesterday with Joey and checked out Cat Door's handiwork and I was duly impressed. Seriously, it looks really good. HOWEVER....the work on the new lobby is starting tomorrow and I just about died when I saw the color scheme that they picked out. Keep in mind that this is a small area with 20-foot ceilings and only one small window. So what did they pick out?

Paint the ceiling black. The floor covered in VCT tiles that are dark red with flecks of dark tan and black. Dark tan walls on three sides. White wall on one side. New stairway with black metal railings.

Now, if you walked upstairs in the office you'd see a palate of blues and grays. So first of all, this totally doesn't go with the upstairs at all. Secondly, it looks like an industrial whorehouse. Apparently, Cat Door brought two guys and a girl by the office who came up with this color scheme, and Malcolm passed approval on it.

Malcolm is color blind. And so is Cat Door. Wouldn't you want people like that picking out your interior colors? I guess I kind of guess what this little "committee" came up with was like industrial chic, but in my opinion not only did they totally disconnect the lobby from the rest of the building, but it will also make the lobby so dark that I imagine the receptionist will be a very unhappy camper.

So there's that. The control freak inside of me is inwardly dying, but Joey pretty much put the kibbosh on me doing anything last night when he turned to me and said, "Liz, you're obsessing." So I still am, just not out loud. Y'all don't mind, right?

Okay, really, I'll stop. Tomorrow. Or maybe Tuesday.

Then there are my issues with me. I am starting to wonder if I have some sort of body dysmorphic disorder. There are some days when I think I look pretty freaking great for being 37. Then there are days, like today, when I feel fat, frumpy, pimply, and wrinkly. I have been working out a lot. Trying to eat better. Slathering myself with creams, potions, lotions, and eye of newt. Shouldn't I be happier with myself?

Today, I went to Barnes & Noble and picked up "The Perricone Prescription" by the dermatological guru Nicholas Perricone. His theory is between diet, supplements, and exercise you can make yourself younger and eliminate most skin conditions. But then I got into reading the diet and pretty much unless you eat fish and weird vegetables three meals a day, you might as well shoot yourself because life won't be worth living. Interesting theories - and they make a lot of sense - but there is no way I am giving up pasta or bread completely. No freaking way.

And yes, I have PMS. So magnify these feelings by a gazillion times. Damn hormones.

Okay, on to more positive things. Monkey Man has been a complete riot lately. The part that scares me is that he is soooo like me sometimes that it's downright frightening. Our conversation the other night:

MM: Mommy, Trey's family has a house at the beach with a pool. And a HOT TUUUUB (said while putting both hands behind his head like he's reclining on a lounge chair.)

Me: Oh really? That's pretty cool.

MM: Hot tubs are good for hanging out with chicks. I wish we had a hot tuuuuub.

Me: Well we don't, but Cat Door M has one at his house.

MM: (serious as hell) Can you call him and see if I can bring some chicks over there? To use his HOT TUUUUUB?

Oh. My. God. He isn't going to be allowed to leave the house until I'm dead. Because I know how all this is going to end. At his age I had already tried to tie Mark Roller to my bed and kiss him. And it was all downhill from there.

We are going to my parents' next weekend to drop off Monkey Man to spend the night. He has never spent the night without us at my parents' before. We are being taken to the Nascar race in Charlotte next week by a manufacturer, and when someone waves luxury skybox tickets in your face it's pretty hard to say no. Especially when they are FREE. Free is good. So hopefully Monkey Man will be on good behavior and not out scoping for chicks or looking for the nearest hot tuuuub.

Let's see...we went to see Shrek the Third today. It was great. The music they used in it was awesome. Joey and I laughed our asses off - there's a lot of subtle adult humor like the other Shrek movies had, so it makes it a lot more bearable to sit through a kiddie flick when you can focus on the little subtleties like that. Like when the Gingerbread man gets scared and ends up pooping out an M&M. Good stuff, people.

So I guess that's enough bitching for now. And hopefully this week will quiet down a little bit and I will be able to get back to the important stuff like boobs and eye cream. I can always hope.