All hail the victor

Yes, it's true.

I am the undisputed winner of the Great Pimento Cheese Taste-Off of 2007. Apparently, it wasn't even close.

See, Cat Door's dad (I'll call him Cat Dad) was widowed a few years ago, and last year at his high school reunion he ended up reconnecting with an old friend and they have been dating for about six months. The only problem is that she lives in another state, so they spend weekends traveling back and forth to see each other.

One of her claims to fame is that she says that her pimento cheese is the best. She would send literally gallons of the stuff home with Cat Dad every few weeks and of course Cat Door got his fair share too. He adores the stuff. And when he found out that I make it too, he was determined to get his grubby hands on some.

Cat Dad came rolling into town yesterday for a quick visit and brought Cat Door's supply of The Girlfriend's Cheese. The two of them sat at the kitchen table last night and his dad managed to polish off most of my cheese, leaving Girlfriend's untouched. "Damn," he said, "I don't know how to say this, but I'm going to have to give up Girlfriend's cheese if your friend will make some for me sometimes."

Gosh, I hate to kick an old lady's ass. Well, not really. All hail the Queen!

*****

I had a horrible morning. Without going into huge detail, I had a meltdown around 8 AM that then carried through until lunchtime. Let's just say that Chachi cannot move out to the jobsite fast enough to suit me.

What does one do when they are having a bad day at work? If you're into self-torture like I am, you go shopping for a swimsuit. You know, like you're not feeling bad enough, why not try and squeeze into something spandex and totally unflattering?

But I hit the motherload today. I went to Marshalls and found a Ralph Lauren tankini that is absolutely the cutest thing. And it fits like a glove. AND it was only $24.99. Score!

Amazing how something so stupid can turn your day around.

*****

You might want to lock your daughters up after you hear this one.

The other night, I was suffering through my least favorite part of the day - Monkey Man's bathtime. He got out of the tub and as I finished drying him off and was attempting to extricate a set of pajamas, he grabbed his penis. With both hands, he grabbed the "extra" skin and was yanking on it like he was trying to make it look like it was talking and he was making this sound like "Wah....wah wah wah wah...." You know, like all the adults in the Charlie Brown cartoons talk? Like that. Yeah.

"Monkey Man, what are you doing?"

"Mommy, this thing can do all kinds of cool stuff!"

Son, you have no idea.

We are so in trouble.