Well, I'm pretty much packed except for my makeup and hair stuff, and I know y'all are sick to death of my whining about packing and airplanes and stuff, so I thought I'd throw this out there.
You know how sometimes you can go years without thinking about someone or something, and suddenly your brain gets triggered and you start thinking about them/it again? This happened to me today. I got to talking to someone about this guy we know and it made me think about my old boyfriend Jay.
I met Jay back in October of 1993 - I was freshly out of college, single, and not really looking for anyone. He was a pretty smooth-talking guy and within three weeks of us meeting he proposed. Yup, he wanted to take that waltz down the aisle. I was totally smitten with him, but knowing that he had already been divorced once (and by all accounts it was totally all him - his first wife was a lovely lady) my skankball radar went up just a teensy bit. But he was charming and funny and I thought he was very handsome.
We ended up together for two years. The first six months were fabulous. The next six months were...eh....The next year was sheer hell. He took a traveling sales job and was gone a lot, and when he was home he drank a lot and stayed out all night and we fought constantly. A few weeks before we broke up, I found a note laying next to his wallet from someone who lived in my apartment building wanting to hook up with him. Obviously, he was either THAT stupid or wanted to be caught...but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and stuck it out. Then one night we went out to a club with some friends - both of us had way too much to drink and when we got back to my apartment we got into a heated fight and he tried to hit me and then I threw the Yellow Pages at him. Not one of my prouder moments, and it was kind of one of those "What the Fuck am I Thinking?" moments.
So I broke up with him. He stalked me. I almost lost my job over it. And the funny thing was, my boss ended up calling his boss and insisted that Jay was transferred out of state. So the next thing I knew, he was calling me and begging for forgiveness and for me to move with him. I laughed in his face.
So that was in April of 1995. He moved out of state and I ended up meeting Joey in June and was ecstatically happy. (And no, Joey wasn't my rebound guy - I had several of those, ha ha!)
Then in October, I was reading the newspaper on a Sunday morning and I saw his wedding announcement. He had gotten married to the sister of a friend. I was shocked and devastated...what had SHE done that had fixed him? Why had he chosen her instead of ME? It was horrible, I think I cried for three days.
About six months later, I was at work one day when he called me. He wanted one of my chicken casserole recipes so he could fix it for his wife. Then at the end of the call, he told me, "Giving you up was the worst thing I ever did." And then I hung up on him.
One year later, he was a father of a little boy and he was getting a divorce. Rumors came back to town that his wife had a lot of mental health issues and that she had gone completely batshit crazy after the baby was born. Of course, having known him for as long as I did, I feel pretty confident that he drove her that way. Because he did it to me.
I eventually realized that I was carrying some serious baggage that Jay had burdened me with. See, I found out after we broke up that he had cheated on me pretty much the entire time we were together. And I was totally clueless. Therefore, poor Joey had to endure a lot of my trust issues for no fault of his own. But I finally worked through them all and God bless Joey for not giving up on me, especially when I was conducting my own version of the Spanish Inquisition when he was 15 minutes late coming home.
About two years ago, we were at dinner at David and Yvonne's house and they mentioned that Jay had been in contact with them recently. Apparently he is married to Wife #3 and was trying to draft them into selling Amway under him. He drove up here to meet with them and they said he hadn't changed a bit - still charming, but totally up to his usual bullshit.
And you know what? He asked about me. It made my blood run cold.
I hadn't given it much thought since then. Joey ran into him in the airport out in Colorado one time and I think he called on Joey one time trying to sell him something, but other than that I have been happily Jay-free for a long time.
But today, after thinking about him for a while, I decided to do a little internet snooping. It was pretty easy to find him - I know what he does, I know about where he lives, and so I was able to find a picture of him online on his company's website.
Damn, he is OLD. Time has not been kind. And I guess two ex-wives might do that to you too.
I hate to admit it, but I walked around with a pretty smug look on my face all day. Because not only am I married to a great guy, but I don't have to use Amway products either, which is a win-win as far as I'm concerned.
1 comment:
It wouldn't kill you to post the picture, you know.
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