Sunday, December 10, 2006

Stark raving genius, I tell you!

Okay, so I'm pimping her out not just once this week, but twice - Mom-101 did the funniest post on what people are Googling to find her site. She had a few links on there, so I decided to check them out to see what the story was.

And there it was. Oh. My. God. The most brilliant, unheralded use of adhesive ever.


Just reading the product information makes me want to pee just a little bit.

"Naked breasts, small breasts, big breasts, sagging breasts, enhanced breasts. Whatever size or shape they are in, showing off what nature gave us is 'haute'. Yet all the strapless, deep V, cut to the navel, off the shoulder, sheer, mesh, lace and pieced together styles can make wearing a bra unfashionable and basically impossible. Besides, being free feels good! It's refreshing to see a woman revealing a natural cleavage line in her designer dress, especially when it isn't plumped to perfection. Finally going 'au natural' is in fashion again. Yet at times, showing everything can be a little too revealing. Coverups like band-aids and tape can be a turn off. We want to wear something fun, something funky, something a little sexy. We hope you do too. Undercover or exposed, Nippies are a patch of freedom you won't want to hide."

My God, people. This is sheer genius! Look at these adorable little pink butterflies - glossy for daytime, sequined for night. And they have other colors and styles too. And some very lovely neutral tones for daytime, perfect for that PTA meeting.

I'm wondering, though, if they're a "patch of freedom you don't want to hide," then where are all of the patriotic Nippies? Like American Flag Nippies? Bald Eagle Nippies? How about the Liberty Bell? Maybe our founding fathers? The possibilities are limitless. Or how about holiday Nippies? Holly leaves, snowmen, stuff like that.

Why didn't I think of this before? Oh yeah, because I was dreaming up my own line of bikini waxing salons. These things take time, you know.


g-man said...

Hey you're right, you are all about the boobs! My kind of blog!
Crossed Eyes Nippies (for Halloween fun), Name Tag Nippies (for office parties and church gatherings) I'm with Stupid --> Nippies. Or the ultimate natural look with "nipple" Nippies (innies AND outies) Better yet for those not committed enough, pierced nipple Nippies! Oh the list goes on and on. I may have to fire up PhotoShop and have some fun making examples.

Gretchen said...

Now, if they could only come up with something like that for the crop of va-jay-jay's we've seen out of hollyweird...

g-man said...

They could call them pie pans.

I slay me.

Gretchen said...

Kitty covers...

g-man said...

The Patch!

Stop smoking, birth control, AND fashion.


Brazilian Band-aid.