Saturday, December 30, 2006

I thought today was going to be a relaxing day

Brace yourselves, because it's a recap of my day. I'm sure you will be envious as hell when I'm done, because it was one giant snorefest.

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I need to get my cholesterol checked

We worshipped at the Church of the Almighty Waffle today. I think after being stuck at home eating cold cereal for three days with Motormouth Monkey Man, Joey was ready for not only some hot breakfast but some adult conversation too. Then we ran to Target and then home until we reemerged around 4 to head to a friend's house.

And guess what I'm having for dinner? Cold Stone Creamery. Yeah, I not only need to get my cholesterol checked, but probably run about 5 miles tomorrow to make up for today's sins. The only thing I didn't do was ingest a solid stick of butter, but that's only because we didn't have any.

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Away, damn decorations

Part of today's mission was to take the Christmas stuff down and get it all put away. This must be a Southern thing, because we Yankees (and when I refer to myself as a Yankee it's only because I was born in enemy territory, y'all) always leave our decorations up until mid-January at the earliest. Most Southerners I know insist that the Christmas decorations must be down and put away before New Year's Day or it will bring bad luck for the entire next year. And after this year, I decided that I'm not testing that theory. No way, no how.

Well, I managed to get everything boxed back up and stowed back in the storage room located off of Monkey Man's playroom (commonly referred to as Monkey Man's Future Grow Room) by myself. Everything but the damn tree. So I eventually conned Joey into emerging from College Football Stupor to come help me get the thing apart, back in the box, and up the stairs.

And guess what? He ended up throwing his back out. He is currently residing in the recliner with a heating pad, some Aleve, and a big glass of Blanton's. I tried to help him stretch it out since I'm a veteran of years of having a bad back thanks to an unfortunate nookie-on-a-desk incident, but unfortunately nothing seems to be working.

So much for that theory about having bad luck leaving the tree up after New Year's. I bet Joey will be all about saving it until January next time.

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Toys R Us vomited in our house

Earlier this year when Mer came to visit, she helped me wrangle the playroom into a wonderfully organized mecca of childhood joy. By last week, it had disintegrated into a disasterous combination of birthday loot, Christmas booty, and Happy Meal toys galore. So off to Target this morning, where more bins were purchased for art supplies and toys and I spent about 30 minutes resorting everything and getting the room presentable again. Then I cleaned out his drawers and closet and bagged up clothes for a clothing drive I'm doing.

Now, what to do with our Christmas stuff is different. Like the set of Kiss checkers that Joey got from someone at the office. Jesus Mary what do you do with those?

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Is it rude to steal a tray of food from a party?

SG and Mrs. SG had an open house at their pad tonight so we skeddadled over there to see how the other half lives. Very nice place, and they have the nursery all ready for Baby SG that is due to debut in early February. They decided not to find out if they're having a boy or girl, so they did the nursery in a jungle theme that is absolutely adorable.

They had these stuffed mushrooms that were absolutely sinful. To the point where I almost caught Joey sneaking a plateful out of the house so he could eat them in unbridled ecstacy out on the deck. Is that wrong?

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Vegas, baby!

The other part of my day, other than the coma I fell into this afternoon while Monkey Man was napping, was plotting our next trip to Vegas. The stars fell into alignment this year and even though the national trade show that Joey has to go to each year was in Vegas last year, it's back there again this year and we've already booked tickets and rooms. I peed a little when I found out about it.

We'll be out there in early March for about 5 or 6 days. I'm really stoked that we got direct flights from an airport about 1 hour east from here - I hate to fly, and I hate connections even worse because 9 times out of 10 my luggage will get lost or I will miss the flight. So we drive a little, we get a direct flight, and we don't spend all day in an airport on the way out and on the way back.

We're staying at the Wynn. That alone makes me feel slightly sick to my stomach, because really, people like us don't belong at a nice hotel like that. We should be at some dive hotel where you drop a quarter in to make the beds vibrate. Not at a place that has a freaking Maserati dealership in it. That's just wrong.

My mission this trip? To throw Joey's business partner's wife out of the Yurman store like she did to me last year. Another story for another time, but I ended up with the last laugh on that one. Bitch.

Oh, and Joansy....lunch? Cocktails? Lunch and cocktails? I can't wait to see you again!

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Later, dudes. I'm off to crash on my couch with some wine and a stack of magazines that have been taunting me for about 2 weeks now.

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