Happy Birthday Monkey Man

Tomorrow, Monkey Man turns five.

Before he came along, Joey and I had a wonderful life together. We worked hard, we played hard, we traveled a lot, and we had fun just being a couple. But we knew that we wanted more.
It took us what seemed like an eternity to get there. And when he finally came, we were unprepared for the overwhelming emotions we felt toward this little human being. Not to mention that neither one of us knew a whole lot about birthin' no babies.

But we plugged along, he never called CPS on us, and we've made it this far. Why they don't send you home from the hospital with an instruction manual or "Babies for Dummies" is nature's cruelest joke ever.

Someone recently asked me if I loved having a four-year-old and I kind of laughed and said, "Honestly, he was great at every age - but the problem with a four-year-old is that they tell you everything. What they like, what they don't like, what they want, and every inconsequential bit of information you can imagine." Seriously, the kid talks nonstop from sunup to sundown. Where's the mute button? Right now we're working on taking turns while talking at dinner, and so far the lesson is kind of lost on him because if he can't talk immediately, he pouts and pretty much ruins dinner.

Talking aside, he is truly an amazing little person. He has a great sense of humor, a strong sense of empathy for other people (and animals too - he's a total sucker for animals), and has such a love for laughter that it's contagious. He might not be a child prodigy headed off to Harvard at the age of eight, but he is one smart little sucker. And he loves just hanging with me and Joey - right now, we're hunkered down watching a big football game on TV and he is snuggled up next to Joey on the couch and asking ten million questions about the game.

Monkey Man has had a rough time this fall. With Builder Daddy's illness, I was taken away from him for almost a month. Four-year-olds don't really understand what is going on sometimes, but he did tell me that "I will loan you to Grandpa for a while, but when he gets all better then he needs to give you back to me." My dad just grinned when he heard that. Then, Monkey Man was sick and then hospitalized and then had his tonsils out. And through it all, he was just as brave as anyone could imagine, only crying when the nurses removed his IV at the hospital. The kid had a freaking spinal tap and handled it all way better than either Joey or I did. He is amazing.

One night in the hospital, he woke up in the night and was pretty agitated so I climbed into the bed among all the IV's and monitors and we snuggled together until he fell asleep. I nuzzled the back of his neck and held him gently and thought about how I would give anything, absolutely anything for him to be better. We've had such a rough road, and especially during my dad's illness Monkey Man was my single inspiration to get up every day and put one foot in front of the other instead of laying in bed and crying and feeling sorry for myself. He keeps me going, even when I think I can't go on anymore.

Now that I know how truly sick he was and how close we could have come to losing him, it has thrown me into a little bit of a tailspin personally. It's made me question why I'm working so much, worrying about keeping the house perfectly clean, all that extraneous bullshit that in the grand scheme of things really isn't that important at all. So I'll be sitting down after the holidays with Joey and talking about some things that we can do so that I can be a little more available to be around a little bit more for my little guy.

Watching him at tae kwan do today made me wonder where the hell the last five years have gone. I have a five-year-old, y'all! I'm way too cool to have a kid that old! Or maybe not. I think maybe it's time to teach him how to open up the bar and mix a tall glass of Mommy Juice. Age has its advantages, you know.

Happy Birthday, my little Monkey Man. You make me so very proud. I love you right up to the moon and back.