Itchy scratchy

I think the older I get, the worse it is to keep my appearance up. I’m really kind of self-conscious about my appearance – I like to look nice even if it’s just to run to the grocery store. This has consequences, though, because I have so many lotions and potions to slather on that it’s not really feasible to just throw some makeup on and run out the door. Not to mention that I realized lately that more and more of my paycheck is going to Clinique, Philosophy, my colorist, the nail salon, and my waxer than anything else.

Lately I’ve developed an obsession with my skin. I’ve always been meticulous about my face but now I’m worried about the rest of my skin and have been coating up with lotions and body washes every day.

And this is where I went horribly awry…this weekend, I was reading Shape Magazine and saw a recommendation for a certain body lotion that was supposed to rejuvenate skin and even out skin tone. I had to have it. Now. So I ran up to Kroger under the guise of getting a few things like milk and the makings for smores, and bought the lotion.

I was almost giddy opening the package. I did my workout, showered, and then slathered the lotion all over. An hour later, I was sitting on the couch watching TV and admiring how good my arms look. Okay, maybe they really didn't look any different at all, but I felt like they did.

Today was day three of using the lotion. Yesterday afternoon I noticed that my arms had this odd color to them, but I chalked it up to being out in the sun over the weekend. Well, it wasn’t a tan. It was an allergic reaction to the lotion – driving to work this morning, I looked at the inside of my forearm and it was covered in hives. Yep, it was looking pretty gross and of course by the time I got to work I was itchy too. Itchy to the point that I was offering people a quarter to scratch my back for me. If that's not pathetic, I don't know what is.

The lotion had soy in it as well as some ingredient that gave it a little sparkle – so I’m not sure if maybe I have a soy allergy like Monkey Man does, or if it was caused by whatever the sparkly stuff was. All I can say is that the lotion was promptly disposed of and I’m hoping the itching will stop soon. But I am going to miss that little sparkly stuff, even if Joey thinks it looks like something a stripper would wear. Gotta keep the guys at work guessing, right?