Welcome to the insanity

If this is your first time visiting Builder Mama Headquarters, welcome. You must be wearing steel-toed boots, OSHA-approved safety glasses, and a hard hat to tour the site. All visitors must report to the jobsite trailer before entering the site.

It amazes me to see how some people end up finding this site. A few of my PIM friends have added me to their blogrolls so by luck I've gotten quite a bit of traffic from them. But occasionally, I get someone who has done a Blogger search and by some odd twist of fate, they end up here. Some of the searches have been:

“I am pregnant” Congratulations! Now, fasten your seatbelt, because you’re in for a bumpy ride…but so rewarding at the end.

"shoot me now, shoot me now" I have no idea why you’d be looking for this, but welcome to you as well. And let me say that if you worked for Eeyore, you’d be saying this too – on a regular basis.

“moms” Yup, that’s me. A great club to belong to. I just hope you weren’t looking for any inspiration or tips on how to be the perfect mom, because I’m just stumbling through all this with no blueprints or specifications and hoping for the best.

“summer intern” Sorry, no openings here at Builder Mama Headquarters. Not unless you’re male, over 6 feet tall and hot…then we might be able to work you in. Really. I might need someone to be the cabana boy for me at the pool this summer, so bring your sunscreen.

“infertility” I’ve been there, and if you’re searching for this, I’m sorry if you’re trapped in the never-ending cycle of hell. I hope it gets better for you and I send you endless hugs and good wishes.

“secret family-picx” Okay, I’m not exactly sure why anyone would post secret pictures on the internet, doesn’t that kind of defeat the “secret” part? The only secret family picture I have is my eighth grade class photo which is so eye-searingly horrid that I will die if anyone ever unearths it.

"grandmothers knitting transformers" If you can figure this one out, let me know because I have no clue.

“mom sucking” I sense some angst here. And searching for that on Mother’s Day, nonetheless. Your mother would be ashamed.

“granny panties” You really wanted to see some? That is so not hot. You might want to talk to someone about your problem, you perv.

Anyhow, welcome. We break for lunch every day at 11:30, and make sure that you turn in your timecard at the end of the day. Thanks.