One giant leap

I have a job interview on Friday.

I haven’t interviewed with anyone in ten years.

I guess a lot of this has to do with my review and the fact that I’ve hit the glass ceiling here. Not to say that it would be much different anywhere else, because this is a male-dominated industry and there are very few women who manage to climb through the ranks.

I just want the chance. I want to be given the chance to succeed, or even the chance to fail. But I feel like I deserve the chance.

Part of me doesn’t want to leave here. I have it made here – a pretty cushy job, good pay, great benefits, and most of all really wonderful friends that I’ve made over the years. It’s hard to give all of that up. But part of me wants validation from the outside world of my worth in the marketplace…I need to see it for myself and know if I’m making the right decision to stay here, or if I need to go.

My friends all tell me that I’m crazy for even thinking about leaving. You know, if I was thinking that having another child was a definite possibility, I’d probably park my ass right here and enjoy the flexibility that my seniority has given me at this company. But I don’t know if having another baby is in the cards or not…and even if it is, will I be happy five years from now or still as frustrated as I am now?

So many questions. And I don’t know how to get the answers. But I feel like Friday may be a step in the right direction, and a giant leap of faith in myself and my abilities.