If anyone even noticed (heh) I didn't even bother posting around Christmas. Mostly because stories of doctor's visits aren't really something people love to hear about when they're decking the halls and gorging themselves on eggnog and ham, right?
So like I said last time I posted back in the Stone Age, I've had this pesky chest pain thing going on for a few months now. Early on Christmas Eve morning, I dragged myself to the new doctor where I was greeted warmly and with little adhesive patches all over me for a lovely holiday EKG. Nothing spells holiday spirit like having little patches ripped off of your skin. Then, Dr. W came in and spent a good 40 minutes with me discussing the various things going on in my life, my medical history, and all that good stuff. Well, probably at least 10 minutes was spent discussing Cat Door and his love of all things Cat Door and all that - turns out he is preparing to do a big master bathroom renovation similar to ours so I promised to email his wife pictures of how ours turned out. So once we dispensed with all of the formalities, he told me that he was going to draw some blood for lab work "just in case" but pronounced me pretty much healthy as a horse.
Except...it seems like I've developed some anxiety issues. It seems as though the fact that my father has cancer, my mother is a basket case, my sister and mother aren't getting along, my husband's business is in the toilet due to the economy, I have been worried about layoffs at my own company, some friend drama, and just the logistics of getting through every day is maybe a little much for me. Not enough to put me on daily meds, but enough for him to write me my very own prescription for Xanax with a promise that I wouldn't be chewing them up hourly like breath mints. "I think you do a great job identifying when this stuff is going on with you, but you need a little bit of a security blanket if that makes any sense," he said as he handed me the script. He told me to do things like deep breathing or taking a quick walk when I start feeling stressed, try to fit in a workout two or three times a week, and to make sure that I get some personal time in my day even if it's just 20 minutes.
I walked out of the office feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. First of all, I absolutely LOVE Dr. W and his staff. They were awesome. Secondly, it really helped for someone to tell me that I'm fine and not one step away from a heart attack...but third, knowing that now I have this little bottle in my purse is like having a warm blanket to wrap myself in when things get really bad.
So Saturday, as we all loaded up in my mother's minivan to take a day trip, I started feeling it. Cruuuuunch. It almost takes my breath away sometimes.
"Be right back," I said and I got back out of the van and walked around the hotel parking lot a few times, breathing deeply and doing some stretching. Within five minutes, I was feeling much better and was able to jump in the van and drive us around for the rest of the day. No little happy pill needed.
I'm not saying I'll never need them, but I think that I'll probably be able to control a good portion of the chest pains without resorting to them. And that makes me feel a lot more in control of things. Not to mention that knowing I can get through a whole three days of my mother without taking the entire bottle of Xanax is pretty darn sweet.
The other fun thing going on is that yes, Virginia, I will be back on a diet/exercise regimen come January 1st. It's not a New Year's resolution as much as procrastination at not wanting to deprive myself during the holidays and deal with all the BS. The pants are getting a little snug again, my abs are flabby, and overall I just feel not very good about myself. So get ready for a lot of whining about eating cardboard and how much I hate to sweat and such.
I hope everyone had a great Christmas! Ours was blissfully quiet, we had a nice visit to my parents' for a few days, and now this week is juggling Monkey Man around since The World's Most Expensive Preschool is closed for the week. Fun!
Edited to add - Since we were lazy slackers and didn't send out Christmas cards this year, I'd love to share our family photos with you. If you're interested in seeing them, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and if I deem you are not a stalker, I'll send you the link. I can't post the linky love here since it's some kind of copyright violation or some such ilk, but the pictures turned out AWESOME! Although a little Photoshopping of my double chin and stomach rolls would've been nice. Ahem.