Thursday, November 20, 2008


Lots of times, Mer and I will be trading emails back and forth about things and a situation where we don't know what to do will come up. The inevitable question is often - WWOD?

What Would Oprah Do?

Since she's turned herself into a modern-day messiah of all things, it seems only fair to use Oprah as our barometer of all that is good and right in the world. Don't know what to serve at your next dinner party? Don't know how to tell a friend that they've overstepped the bounds of sanity? Don't know where to go on vacation? Just ask yourself - What Would Oprah Do?

Well, first of all, Oprah probably wouldn't give a shit what she was serving at her dinner party since she has People that worry about that stuff for her. So if Oprah deemed that dinner would be Eye of Newt, her People would fly all over the globe to make sure the appropriate Eye of Newt was acquired in time for the dinner party.

Secondly, Oprah has Gayle. Gayle is perfect in Oprah's eyes. So there would be no need for Oprah to even worry about a wayward friend.

As for vacation, well, Oprah can go wherever the hell she wants to. So she wouldn't be stressing about how many days to get on her damn Park Hopper pass at Disney.

Wouldn't it be nice to have the resources not to have to worry about stupid bullshit? Then you could just truly decide what you wanted to do based on what you truly want. WWOD?

So last night, after having my teeth kicked in by Badass Friend, then being somewhat publicly smacked in the face on my wall in Facebook by another Badass, I got a friend request that took me by surprise.

It was Amy. Amy was my best friend in college. We were inseparable, to the point where when we graduated I even lived with her parents for about four months while I got a job and found a place to live. We were almost like sisters.

What ended the friendship, you ask? Well, she dated my ex-fiance behind my back. He and I had a very amicable breakup, and if she had bothered to ask me if it was okay to go out with him, I would've been thrilled. He was a great guy, she was a great girl, and they would've had a good time together. Instead, the two of them decided that sneaking around was preferable. When I found out, I was so hurt that I stopped returning her phone calls and finally told her that the trust between us had been broken.

The last time I saw her was 12 years ago - I was in a David's Bridal up in the northern part of the state with my mom and sister to try on wedding dresses, and she just happened to work there. It was awkward, stiff, and strange. It had been three years since she and I had parted ways.

All of my close friends know that I'm a World Class Grudge Holder. I've been known to hold grudges for decades. I've been trying to be better about it, because really all it does is weigh me down with negative energy. And don't I have enough bullshit going on without harboring a bunch of old grudges?

Her friend request still sits untouched. I really don't know what to do. Part of me misses that friendship - and part of me is still kind of wounded that she chose someone else over me. Yeah, I'm like a jilted lover, I guess.

So, what would you do...accept the friend request, or just ignore it? I'm interested in what you would have to say. Especially since this is probably way beneath Oprah, since Gayle is probably not interested in Steadman anyway.


Tree said...

Accept it! It's been 12 years. Time for everyone to have grown.

Kim said...

I agree with Tree...accept it.

g-man said...

To quote the big O, "Grow up and get over it."

Which is worth more to you the potential of accepting it or holding on to those old feelings?

When you figure that out you will know what to do.

Love ya,

MarciaAnn said...

Test the waters ... people change so dramatically in 5 years, let alone 12.

As my father used to tell me ... Let it go, Louie, it's only bringing you down worrying over it. But it is okay for you to still remain guarded. It's very difficult when an intrinsic trust is broken, so it doesn't mean that you have to start out where the friendship was left hanging. It's time to build it anew.