I just realized with some horror that it's been exactly a whole freaking month since I posted.
It's been a little bit of a whirlwind around these parts. We took a quick vacation to the beach, we had a Forced-In-Law-Interaction (This Time Without Yeast Rolls!), we ended up with a colony of bees living underneath the siding of our house, and work has been truly awful. My motto of the last few weeks has been, "Encumbered by idiots, I press onward!"
Chachi's last day is next Friday and my palms sweat just thinking about it. We have a new team member - name yet to be determined - and while he's a nice guy he's not exactly a ball of fire. I think we are totally screwed.
So we have been so freaking busy at work that I basically eat, work, and collapse. Lather, rinse, repeat. Some life, huh?
I have also been wrapping my brain around some news we got about my dad. The new treatment isn't working and the doctor wants him to see an oncologist. And my dad has decided he's done all that he wants to do.
I've been preparing for this for the last two years. Since Dad got so sick, I've felt really fortunate that we've gotten some extra time with him. It's like the big bonus round. But it's also been living each day waiting for the other shoe to drop. And right now, it's dangling by a shoelace. I'm okay with it. I went back and re-read the advice that Cat Door gave me when my dad was in the coma, and I've come to realize that I've been embracing the eventuality of Dad's death this whole time. And if he's okay with it, I am too. And we have no idea how long he has - it could be days, months, or years. So there's that.
It's hard for me to write when I feel like my insides are a pressure cooker. Hence my absence for the past month. I feel like I'm coming out on the other side, though. Maybe.
So if you're still hanging around, thanks. Sorry I haven't been able to be an active participant, but I really wasn't ready to share this with anyone yet. But I think my heart is healing a little bit. And I'm starting to realize how much I miss writing.