I don't even know where to start. But yeah, hi!
I guess I should probably explain where I've been. Or at least try to.
You see, I always have had a certain amount of pride about my life. That I'm the "together one". That I'm the one that always has a great attitude, who doesn't let the little things get under my skin, who forges onward with a smile and a lame joke. Yup, that's me.
Or maybe not so much.
I've been depressed. There, I said it out loud. Slowly but surely, I felt like I was sliding backwards to where I was five years ago when I felt like I was just going through the motions. You know how it gets when you're just existing to exist? Putting one foot in front of the other without any kind of joy or emotion about your life? That numbness.
You know what I mean. I know you do.
I felt like the walls were closing in around me. What might have been insignificant problems a few months ago suddenly became insurmountable, like countless stones tied around my ankles and keeping me from gaining any momentum.
The kicker was that we had a little scare here at home. As in a Oh Crap, My Period Is Late scare. The kind that the Mirena IUD is supposed to prevent, although as most of the PIM's know we do have one member who went on to have Kiddo #3 with the Mirena. I was so freaked out that I refused to take a test until 2 weeks had passed, and the day I was headed out to get the test my period started.
And instead of relief, I felt kind of sad. Maybe a little disappointed. I know we've made the right decision for our family not having more children, but there was a teensy part of me that was secretly hoping that we would indeed have another. But things happen for a reason. The strangest part was that I was surprised at the wave of emotions and was kind of swept up in it. It was the icing on the craptastic cake that my life had turned into in the past month.
Things are getting better, though. I kind of kicked myself in the ass last week and realized that pretty much everything was something that I could control and at least improve or make go away. And I started feeling a lot better. Eating better. Getting some exercise. Spending time outside. Making sure I had some fun at work, which had become a very un-fun place to be. Reconnecting with my friends. And most of all, loving my family. I would be nothing without them.
Maybe at some point the exercise and the diet and all the other stuff won't work and I might need a little shove in the right direction, but for now it's working. I feel like I'm getting my mojo back.
So while I've been scarce, I appreciate it if you're still around. And hopefully you'll continue to hang in there with me while I work through all this jello in my brain.
A few shout-outs to my peeps.
Congratulations to MPP's Mom on the birth of beautiful Sweet Potato! She joins her big brother My Pumpkin Pie who I am sure is very proud!
And as of Monday, we have the arrival of Moosebaby, son of Mitzi and Moose Green and little brother of Bob. Congrats to the happy family!
And last, but not least, happy anniversary to Aimee and Bryan of Greeblemonkey fame. Twelve years and going strong! And in no small coincidence, they were 26 when they got married...so were Joey and I, and we celebrate 12 years in December. Huh.
Oh, and one more thing. Monkey Man lost his first tooth after weeks and weeks of wiggling and wiggling. He was somewhat disappointed to only get money, I think he was expecting a new car or something.