Thursday, January 31, 2008

The bitch is back

Um, yeah. I'm back.

It's been an interesting few weeks. I find that sometimes when life gets a little bit overwhelming for me that I tend to be like a turtle and pop my head into my shell and stay there for a bit until I feel like it's okay to come out again. It drives my mother absolutely bonkers, but honestly sometimes (especially with our relationship) it's easier for me to avoid her for a week or so just to avoid having every aspect of my life dissected and criticized.

It's not like I've ever felt that way here. Quite the contrary, this is one of the few places where I can pretty much be myself - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Of course, there are a few things that I keep to myself because honestly, Internets, you don't need to know everything there is about me do you? I mean, aren't discussions of skanky hoo-ha enough for you people?

So in the interest of not boring you to death, I'll hit you with a few highlights of the past few weeks. Kind of a Cliff Notes version of Builder Mama's world.

1. The trip to the Homestead was lovely, but note to self: When traveling there in the wintertime, remember to pack ski clothing or you will be bored to death. Honestly, there are only so many Ann Rule anthologies a girl can take without wanting to shoot someone.

2. Monkey Man survived his trip to the motocross show with Cat Door M. And brought home the most hideous black and yellow motocross jersey that I have had to literally peel off of him in order to wash it. And I believe that Cat Door led Monkey Man and his nephew Isaac in a big burping contest, but I can't definitely confirm this.

3. We went to a wedding reception last weekend. The bride spilled an entire cosmo down the front of my dress. Malcolm got drunk and got us cut off at the restaurant where we had dinner. I am starting to think that we need to find other people to have dinner with, not to mention we are running out of restaurants in the city where we can eat without a disguise.

4. I have been fighting off a cold going on two weeks now. I will feel like shit for a day, then fabulous for a day, then back to shit. Antibiotics didn't really help so I'm just plodding along. My average bedtime over the last two weeks has been somewhere around 8:17 PM. Please note that I am responsible for getting Monkey Man in bed at 8:30 every night so I'm not exactly sure how he's getting himself up there but hey, he eventually ends up there.

5. Work, well, I'm not even going there. Let's just say that it's 37.5 hours a week of my life that I'll never get back.

6. We finally got our January cut of our company's money and therefore the bathroom renovation will finally be starting. The main goals will be to get a new bathroom, not to get divorced, and not to kill Cat Door. And if I do, to manage to get bail quickly.

7. We are headed to Vegas on February 20th. (And hey, Joansy, I tried emailing you but I think I have an old address...can you drop me an email at so we can try and hook up for a drink or maybe lunch?) David and Yvonne are headed out there with us, Malcolm and Paula are joining us later. I've been the busy little travel agent planning dinners, shows, and cool stuff to do when we're not hitting it big in the casino. I have been dreaming of running naked through the Palazzo, is that wrong?

8. I finally succumbed to the charms of the Blackberry. Damn it all. I am hooked. Anything that lets you look at porn in your car is all right with me. Not to mention texting while I'm on the treadmill.

9. I signed up for the 10K training team with the YMCA. Our first run was last Saturday. 8 AM. 27 degrees outside. Let's just say it wasn't one of my most attractive moments, as I noticed the frozen streaks of snot on my face when I got in the car. How hot is that?

And about a million other things have happened too. Nothing exciting, nothing horrible, just life.

So I'm back. And thanks for hanging in there while I got my head straightened back out. Well, when I say "straightened out" I just mean "slightly deranged".


joansy said...

Yea!!! You're back. I've missed you so much. And I can't wait to see you next month. And I will pay huge, big bucks if you run through the Palazzo naked.

Congrats on the bathroom and everything else. Yea!! You're back!

Gretchen said...

I'm so glad you're back! Missed you!

Anonymous said...

missed ya. Glad you are back!

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

Welcome back! xoxox

Tree said...

Woo hoo! Builder Mama is back!

Esmerelda said...


Glad you're back. I gave up wiping my nose on my glove thismorning and finally just full on blew it right into the palm of my hand. Gross but necessary.