Or maybe more appropriately, mice.
I had all these grandiose plans for yesterday, usually involving sitting on my ass and doing nothing or perhaps making up my lists and such for the New Year's Eve party. Unfortunately, Mickey and company had other plans for me.
I had discovered right in the middle of fixing our big Christmas dinner that we had mice in the cabinet where the pots and pans are. So I pulled all that crap out, washed everything up in the dishwasher, and cleaned the cabinet.
Next cabinet. More evidence. Pulled everything out, threw it in the dishwasher, cleaned the cabinet.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
As I was talking to Jen the Badass on the phone yesterday, I went into the pantry to get some napkins out and...ARGH. So you know what the rest of my day entailed yesterday. I bet I threw away 75% of our pantry. Anything that wasn't well-sealed went out. I'm not taking any chances. Believe it or not, the little fuckers attempted to chew their way into a Capri Sun. Thank God they weren't successful or that would've been one sticky disaster of a mess. I did find out that they also ate some leftover Halloween candy too. No wonder the little bastards were so active when I heard them at 5:30 AM the other morning - they were hopped up on Hershey bars.
Last night we ended up having to take all the pantry crap to the dump - our two supercans for trash are chock full and I didn't want that shit hanging out in the garage. Cause we have mice, ya know. Then it was off to Target to purchase a zillion dollars worth of storage containers for various and sundry things in the pantry and also stuff like dog treats. Joey found some gaps in the cabinets so last night he started the process of cutting wood and filling the gaps in. And the pest control people came and put out all kinds of yummy treats for the mice so hopefully the sweet little motherfuckers will DIE. Oops, did I say that out loud?
Anyhow, the kitchen is out of commission for a while until I can get everything cleaned out and washed - I'm about 60% complete (yes I have a crapload of stuff) and therefore we went out for Chinese last night after hitting the dump and Target. Halfway through dinner, Monkey Man announced that he had to go poop. We have this agreement - if both of us are there, I will take MM to the ladies' room because as we've all heard, the men's room is notoriously bad. So off we went.
I swear the kid hadn't pooped in days. Well, yeah he had but from the amount of the bomb he dropped it seemed like half a kid was in there. And of course it was the kind that was kind of not easily wipeable, so after contorting in the stall and trying the best I could we emerged from the ladies' room. It was like at least 95 degrees in there so I had broken out in a total sweat and was almost nauseous from exhaustion. The rest of the meal I just sat there like a bump.
Later on, Joey asked me what was wrong - was I sick? I was definitely not acting like my normal self. And all I can say is that all that poop got the best of me yesterday.