Friday, November 16, 2007

The never-ending cycle of suburban hell

I feel so out of touch. I'm not sure exactly what's going on at work with our network, but I have been having serious Blogger and Gmail problems for the last 2 days. Anyone else having problems? I will say, though, that my productivity at work has definitely increased.

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Sunday is Monkey Man's birthday party. And apparently, this birthday party is causing a big ruckus among the Queen Bees of the neighborhood.

The main Queen Bee lives in our neighborhood - I'll call her LB. LB is also the room mother for Monkey Man's class since her daughter AG is in the class too. They both have these annoying double-first names like the rest of their family so it's almost comical because people mix them all up all the time. I get emails from this woman almost every day because I volunteered not only to help out with stuff for the class, but also the PTA. Remind me next year to pick one or the other, okay? Damn working mother guilt.

I knew from earlier this summer that she has a circle of friends (the other Queen Bees) who had pretty much thrown my friend Frankie out of the group because she wasn't Queen-Beeish enough I guess. Frankie was pretty crushed but since then has become an auxilliary member of the Badasses. We take anyone, especially the non-Queen Bees. So I knew going into this school year that I was going to have to tread lightly for fear of offending LB.

Well, I've pretty much fucked that all up. Apparently her little darling AG's birthday party is also scheduled for Sunday at the same time as Monkey Man's. We got an invitation and I responded back that we would be unable to attend as Monkey Man's party was the same time but we hoped that they had a lovely time.

That was over a week ago. Fast forward to yesterday, when I get this really odd email from her that says some crap about the class Thanksgiving dinner and then she wrote, "Are you getting much of a response from the kids in the class? I am trying to figure out who is not going to be at AG's and if I know they are going to Monkey Man's I doubt they will be here."

Huh. I thought about it for a few minutes and responded back that we had only invited 5 kids from the class (I think we're supposed to invite all but MM was pretty adamant that he really only wanted a few there) and that since we had received AG's party invitations prior to sending MM's out, I limited the number of kids so that it wouldn't interfere with her party. Which in reality wasn't true - first of all, Monkey Man absolutely didn't want AG even invited to his party since he says she is "bossy and mean". So I used the excuse to explain why AG didn't get an invite...and hopefully keep her from thinking we were trying to sabotage AG's party.

Seemed like a good answer, right? Well, maybe too little, too late. Last night I was talking to Shannon who had been at that adult toy party last Thursday...as it turns out, one of the beeyotches from that particular neighborhood was there and it just so happens that not only is her daughter in Monkey Man's class but she is also friends with LB. Oh goody.

So Shannon, in an effort to make conversation, told her that my son was in the same class too (I had already left at that point). The woman gave her this evil glare and said, "Yes, I heard that SHE sent out invitations for her son's party for the SAME DAY as AG's party. I mean, what was she thinking?"

Oh. My. God. These people are freaking insane. Do they seriously think that I really put that much thought into it? The Mad Science place had one opening for this weekend, and it was that day and time. That was all the thought it took other than finding my credit card number. Jesus.

I honestly, truly, thought people like this only existed on sitcoms and Dr. Phil. And now I'm trapped in suburban hell.

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Today, I'm thankful to have friends that are "real" - that don't get caught up in a bunch of BS or drama. It's so refreshing!

3 comments:

Heather said...

As if you plan your life around other people. Sorry hon, have fun with MM!

joansy said...

I'm afraid the urban core has its issues too - though usually in the form of prostitutes and drug dealers who really don't give a shit about birthday parties.

As for disappointment, I just learned that my dear Sophie informed all of the girls in her class that I am taking them to Disneyland for her birthday. Mmmm, No. Hell no.

I hope you have a great time with MM's party. Damn Queen Bees and their drama.

Tree said...

Oh, dear heavens. We limited N's party to a total of 8, including two cousins and N's best little girlfriend.

This past weekend, we hit on the perfect solution - joint parties for all kids in each month. We attended a joint bday party and it was really nice to not have to attend two!