Monday, October 29, 2007

A break from all the fabulosity

Today was one of those days where I felt like my return to work was a requisite remedy for the fabulosity that is my life.

Bwahahaha! No, seriously, I was so freaking busy this weekend that I really did need to go back to work just to get some rest.

Both Joey and Monkey Man conveniently came down with sinus infections this weekend, one day apart. You'd think they would've scheduled all of this with a little more forethought so that we could kill two birds with one stone and go to the doc-in-the-box all at once. Instead, Joey went on Saturday morning and was home within 45 minutes - and then got stuck hauling Monkey Man over there yesterday and it took almost three hours. If I hadn't been so drunk I probably would've felt a little bad about it.

The drunk part was from a brunch we had for Jay's upcoming birth. We had it at this old-school restaurant in the city where they have a pretty decent brunch and really good mimosas and bloody marys. Needless to say a good bar is key to a Badass outing. She'd been having contractions last week so we were all kind of wondering if she was going to be able to hold off until after the shower, but Baby decided to cook a little longer so it was all good.

Then, it was off to a Halloween party. Monkey Man had brought home an invitation from one of his classmates to come to a Halloween party at his house. I didn't RSVP at first because, well, I really wasn't into the thought of spending my Sunday afternoon doing that. Then he brought home a second invitation so I felt like maybe we should go. And I'm glad that I did.

This party was really over the top. They had the entire freaking yard covered in spider webs and all kinds of coffins, ghouls, goblins, and spooky stuff. A guy they hired to entertain the kids who made these amazing balloon animals (things like a tree with a panda bear climbing it, they were unreal). Someone doing face painting. The biggest damn moon bounce I've ever seen. A huge jungle gym. Food, and more importantly, BEER.

I'm a pretty social person, but I got to the party just to realize that I didn't know a soul there except for one couple from our neighborhood. They are kind of the "queen bee" types where they reign supreme over the Almighty Pool and think they're All That And A Bag Of Chips. Eventually, she came over with another mom and talked to me for a few minutes, and then I was alone again. So I got myself a beer and stood there enjoying the antics of the kids.

It wasn't long before I started looking around at the parents and realized the large amounts of men there without women. As a matter of fact, other than one other lady I was the only "single" woman out there. The men, meanwhile, were sizing all the ladies up and trying to be all sly about it but it was pretty comical to watch...because you know how they are, no matter how cool they try to be, the minute they see a rack walk by you can almost hear the speed at which their heads turn.

"Hey, how are you?" I was startled out of my fixation on the mating habits of the party attendees. This fairly nice-looking guy came over to me, introduced himself as Brian, and began to talk to me. We chit-chatted for about 15 minutes about where we work, where the kids went to school, and all that BS. I was just enjoying having some adult conversation, until he made the big mistake of using possibly the world's worst pickup line on me. Ever.

"So, what's your costume? Did you come as a MILF?" he grinned.

Um. Yeah. See what I mean? Worst. Pickup. Line. Ever.

"No, but that is really funny. I bet my husband would love that as a costume idea!"

The shock on his face was hilarious. You see, I had run out of the house so fast yesterday that I never got a chance to put any of my rings on - I had taken them off to wash some chicken and forgot to put them back on. I had all my other jewelry on, so it wasn't like I had forgotten I guess he totally misunderstood my situation.

He ended up apologizing six ways from Sunday and offered to get me a beer. I said no thanks, but that in the future he probably shouldn't try that line on anyone else because it was pretty pathetic. But funny. He skulked off and last I saw him he was hanging around the fire pit.

Hey, you've got to give him an A for effort, who else would have the cojones to try and pick someone up at a kids' Halloween party? Obviously, someone who probably also needs some new pickup lines.

Um, let's see what else. I'm scheduled (finally!) to get my Mirena IUD next Monday if everything goes according to schedule. My yearly review is tomorrow, which should provide some good blog fodder. I have a review due for PBN on Wednesday. Badass dinner on Saturday. I think a kids' birthday party on Saturday as well. I need to go by another tile place to look at more tile for our bathroom. And I'm finalizing plans for a little field trip to see some of my favorite bloggers.

So other than a few bloggy things I'm chewing on like cud, it's all good. Sorry I've been such a slacker, but fabulosity is a full-time job, y'all.

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