Today was the day I've been looking forward to all week.
I decided to go bra shopping.
Yes, I know that's pathetic to look forward to something so plebeian, but that's how I roll.
Way back in the days of yore when I still lived in Joisey, I used to be dragged to this store in West Orange that specialized in bras. You can read about that trauma here. But obviously, I'm not in Joisey anymore so I needed to do something else. Let's just say that Tim Gunn's show inspired me to do it - there's nothing like seeing someone in a bra similar to what you're wearing get fitted and suddenly look like they lost 20 pounds and gained two cup sizes to inspire you to get off your ass and go.
I went back to the Skanky Store I went to the other week to buy skank-wear and took the owner up on her promise to change my life. Well, she might not have changed my life, but she certainly changed my viewpoint on over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders.
According to the "experts" at Victoria's Secret, I am a 38C.
According to The Priestess of Skank (and Bras), I am a 34DD. And let me tell you, the girls haven't stood this high since, oh, I was 22.
Not to mention Joey is thrilled that he can go to work on Monday and brag that his wife has double D's. But whatever.
The fit is amazing. I mean seriously, it slimmed my torso down like nothing I've ever seen. My shirts hang better. My posture is better. And the girls, well, they're better too. As a matter of fact, they look freaking AMAZING. And I should mention that unlike the bras that I got when I went with my mom, these bras are smokin' hot. These ain't your grandma's bras.
If you haven't ever done it, get thee to a Nordstrom or your local lingerie boutique and get fitted. I'm serious.
I think I've found my boobs' salvation, and it looks like this: