Tomorrow, I will have to go into a coworker's office and apologize.
You don't know how much that pains me.
It's kind of a long story, but said coworker's live-in boyfriend (and baby daddy) works for Joey. A few weeks ago, Baby Daddy got into a little legal trouble while driving a company vehicle and was thrown in the clink for ten days or so. This left coworker with an infant and Baby Daddy's 9-year-old son by a previous relationship to try and take care of on one salary. Normally, this wouldn't be a concern to me, but Baby Daddy had just asked Joey not two weeks prior for a $2,000 loan because he hadn't paid the rent (without her knowledge) and they were getting ready to be evicted.
I ended up kind of getting caught in the middle. And probably overstepped my bounds a little bit - not out of malice, but out of concern for her and the kids. And now she is pissed and it's making the atmosphere in the office about as uncomfortable as having a porcupine in your thong. While you're wearing it.
There are times when Joey's professional stuff comes barrelling into my life at work. It's not easy. I get harassed on a pretty regular basis about his company and what they are or aren't doing, how expensive they are, blah blah blah. I try really desperately to keep myself free of the fray but it doesn't always happen this way.
Well, this time, I fucked up. I should have kept my nose out of it. But you know, if I hadn't gotten involved Baby Daddy probably wouldn't have been able to keep his job despite 10 days of being a no-show. Because I told my husband that despite what a scumbag Baby Daddy is, my coworker didn't deserve what his stupid ass had done and gone and the least he could do was at least let the guy get caught up on some money and fire his sorry tail later.
But now she's mad at me. And she has every right to be. Instead of going to her and asking if I could help, or suggesting that she or he call into Joey and let him know what was going on when Baby Daddy fell off the face of the earth for ten days, I got a mutual acquaintance involved - and it was probably the worst person I could've picked in the whole office. I wasn't thinking, honestly. And it wasn't done with any malicious intent.
I am the queen of sticking my head in the sand. I hate confrontation worse than anything. But the tension in our office is so thick right now that it's affecting other people. I've had to bow out of lunch with the usual gang twice this week because she's made it so uncomfortable. I can't figure out if it's that she's mad at me, or taking out her frustrations with Baby Daddy on me - because isn't it easier to be mad at someone you don't have to live with?
Regardless, I plan to head into her office first thing in the morning and eat my crow. And she'll probably bring me down a few pegs and make me feel like the worst human being in the world. But I can't change what happened, I can't take it back, and I can only apologize and hope that eventually she gets over it.
I hope she does.