Tomorrow, Joey leaves on his five-day Manstravaganza out in the wilderness which involves four-wheelers, beef jerky, and possibly some spooning with his college roommate Flash. A little slice of heaven. Some of you might ask if I'm jealous that he's getting five days away from the rat race we call our lives, but I can honestly say no. Now if he was going to the Canyon Ranch for five days of pampering I'd be calling Sunbelt Rentals right now and lining up a woodchipper. DNA identification, my ass. I've been watching Forensic Files.
Okay. So in the meantime, I am seriously freaking out and feeling somewhat embarrassed by it. Hell, I have plenty of friends like Gretchen, Mitzi, EJ, Esmerelda, and Mer that do the single-parent gig all the time for one reason or another. I, on the other hand, feel like a Southern American Princess for whining about possibly having to entertain my child for longer than 22 minutes a day. You know, because I'm that good of a parent.
But I've been preparing. Friends have been giving me pep talks involving carrying large insulated thermoses full of liquor and popping Valiums all weekend. I'm sure it will be fine.
Or at least I had fooled myself into thinking that it was going to be okay until I got home tonight and discovered a message from the damn karate studio on the answering machine. Apparently they want Monkey Man to test for his orange belt on Saturday. This alone makes my head want to explode, because 1.) he's not ready in my opinion and 2.) I will have to deal with the zoo at the karate studio all by myself. My stomach is already in knots. He, however, is ecstatic and his enthusiasm will be enough for me to rush him down to the studio tomorrow for a preliminary screening with the lead teacher and then forking out the testing fees on Saturday for a test we didn't even know he was going to take until next month. Sigh.
There's the neighborhood pool, which is always good for at least one afternoon of entertainment. But since I've been relegated to vampiredom no thanks to my stupid nose, I have to severely limit my sun exposure and unless I wear a birka there is no way I can go to the pool before 4 PM. Sigh.
Maybe the science museum would be a good idea, if I don't mind paying some ungodly amount to take a kid who would rather go to CiCi's Pizza and eat the mystery meat pizza. Sigh.
So you see, I have it all figured out. But if you have any suggestions on things to do, lay them on me. Vodka is optional. Not for me, for him.
10 comments:
Just dont show any FEAR, the kids can smell it!
Really, watch a movie on DVD, make popcorn the whole thing. Works for me.
Have fun Joey!
Zoo, aquarium, park, movie, Target to buy a new toy, get him on Webkinz, write Joey a letter / card, play soccer, run around the block together, etc.
Good luck! You will be just fine and you will realize how much you can handle alone.
Seriously, I can waste AT LEAST two full hours in Target. He's older now, it's when they were little that scared me.
I am with T, do it once and you will conquer your fear. I know it.
Hugs! YOU CAN DO THIS.
And LOL, they can smell fear. That is SO TRUE.
you know what works best for me? when i say, "hey bob, what do you want to do today?" and listen to his suggestion and follow it. that, or just act like there's nothing unusual--just go about the daily grind. it's only when i try to plan shit that things go awry.
you'll be fine. and if not, you'll be drunk. and i'll be laughing at you.
So glad that I'm not the only one with the "what do you mean you're leaving me all alone with them" apprehension. Ditto to the previous suggestions, plus I think a few new movies are opening. Have a great time!
You'll be fine (with or without the vodka). Good luck.
Come to Baltimore, Abby can entertain him! Gman is right, don't let them smell the fear. Target is iffy for me, it could end up in lots of whining about buying stuuuuuuuff. Benadryl?
Plop him down in front of a movie and take a nap on the couch. That's cause I'm MOM OF THE YEAR.
Visit me. He can play with the kids and we can have cocktails on the patio...
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