Horton has a hurt hoo-ha

If I wrote a children's book, that's what the title would be. Because it seems that it is the story of my life.

The last time that I went to see Joanne to get waxed, she ended up burning a 1" strip on my upper eyelid. And I was damned if I was going to let her anywhere in my nether regions after that. So what better solution than to let Celeste, the supergoddess of facials, to do my waxing? Right?

Um, not so much.

I am now minus an inch of skin on my nether region. No, it didn't hurt, but I bled like a motherfucker and caused Celeste to cry. She was convinced that she had hurt me beyond repair. And honestly, after last week's hoo-ha problems, I must have a crotch of steel because I didn't feel a damn thing. Celeste called her boss in to take a look and we can't figure out exactly what happened - the wax wasn't hot, it didn't hurt at all, and it was almost like my skin was tissue paper. I suspect that from the antibiotics I developed some kind of skin issue with severe sensitivity or something.

The bad part is that it is right where the line of my panties goes. So what did I do but go commando the rest of the day. In a dress. Yeah, baby.

The other interesting factoid is that today was our company's safety fair, where they make us stand out in the stifling heat and look at demonstrations and pick up free stress-relief balls and tote bags and t-shirts. This year had an interesting little twist, where they were offering a chance to get in one of those booths where they drop money in there, turn the fan on, and you try and catch as many bills as you can.

In some sort of female ESP-thing that is constantly going around the office, half of us wore dresses today. Not sure why, but we all seem to have this weird thing where usually four or five of us either wear the same colors or similar outfits on the same day. Very highschoolish, and very unplanned. So of course, all of the guys were totally all about the girls in dresses getting into the money booth for very obvious reasons.

"Ain't ya gonna git in there?" grinned one of our more lascivious superintendents.

Um, no. Because if I'm gonna do it, it sure ain't gonna be on a day where I'm not only commando, but only half of my hoo-ha is neatly waxed (albeit missing a chunk of flesh) and the other half looks....well, let's just say that it ain't purty.

So I guess I need to rethink this whole waxing thing. If anyone has suggestions for how to shave without getting massive razor bumps, I could really use the advice. Obviously, I need to avoid wax in the nether regions like the plague. Because at this rate, I will look like someone dropped a bomb down yonder.

The best part is that I told Joey that I had a special surprise for him tonight. And I don't think that this is exactly what he had in mind, heh heh heh.