I used to go to NASCAR races all the time. Seriously, Asshole Ex-Boyfriend and I had season tickets for the track here and would go to the spring and fall races religiously. As a matter of fact, he's the one that got me hooked on NASCAR in the first place. "Darlin'," he drawled, "you ain't lived until you've been pelted by chicken bones, standin' on top of yer cooler in Turn 2. Now that's livin' right there!"
Um, yeah. Obviously, a big dreamer, that guy.
But what I did fall in love with was NASCAR. I had a driver, I had a scanner, I loved to smell the fumes and listen to the engines and come home with little rubber boogers all over my face. It wasn't about the chicken bones, it was about the race. And I loved it.
Well, Joey and I had season tickets for a while that the company paid for but there was a catch. We always had to take some of his employees with us, it was like a little thank you for their hard work. I'm all about thanking the guys that make it all happen for us. What I didn't count on was one of them throwing up in my purse on Lap 283. At that point, I was pretty much done with going to the track for a while.
We returned to NASCAR in grand style last month by going to Charlotte. I mean we're talking hot passes to the pits, luxury box seats, and all the damn beer we could guzzle. I'm just saying that the whole chicken bone thing didn't hold a candle to that experience.
The other day, The Fox and his wife asked us to go to the Indy qualifying with them tonight. Now I don't know much about Indy, but I get the distinct impression that it's kind of a little snooty compared to NASCAR. Like, will there be beer? Or are they going to serve finger sandwiches and English Breakfast tea? Will anyone be wearing a confederate flag bikini top? (Just asking in case, you know, I should consider a tube top instead.) Or will they be wearing powdered wigs and ruffled shirts?
So anyhow, wish me luck. Somehow I think we'll have a good time, even if I don't get to wear the bikini top.
*****
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5 comments:
I'd wear your tube top, but with a nice, white cardigan.
Been to Indy for qualifying.
Plenty of beer. And Track Burgers. And Track Dogs.
And guys yelling "Show your tits!"
Promise, you'll have fun.
Gretchen, ya mean it is like New Orleans? (without the beads) Hell.
I have a whole new appreciation for racing that I didn't have before, yanno the subtleties of the sport and all.
Practice drinking with your pinky raised :)
Honey, you ain't seen nothin' till you've been to the Talladega infield.
:)
Indy is a lot like NASCAR, only less engine noise and a few more imported beer stands.
BTW - I am coming up in Sept for the races...
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