Back to detox

We rolled in a few hours ago and each of us went into our respective corners to curl up and sleep. Unfortunately, we ended up sleeping two hours and now getting Monkey Man to think getting to bed before 11 PM will be a real treat. Egads.

We had a great time in Charlotte. We met Corby and his wife Lainie at lunchtime yesterday and proceeded to have one of the best times we've had in a long time. You know how you meet people sometimes and you just magically click - everyone acts like themselves, everyone has a great time, and next thing you know it's 2 AM and you could sit there and talk all night? It was one of those weekends.

I tell y'all what, sitting in one of those skyboxes is the way to go, especially when it's hot as hell outside and you need someone to supply copious amounts of alcohol and chicken wings. Yum. Of course, then you have to deal with people who sometimes aren't your typical NASCAR fans (who tend to be for the most part pretty lovable folks) and think that they are there to have tea with the Queen of England and sit there with looks on their faces like they smell dogshit or something. Two of those people stole two of our saved seats in the skybox so Lainie and I ended up getting to sit for the race while the guys were stuck standing. And don't worry, we made sure those stuck-up old women were pretty miserable sitting next to us. Bitches.

Corby's company sponsors one of the cars (which actually didn't qualify for the race, bummer!) so he hooked us up with what they call Hot Passes. That gets you down onto Muthafuckin' Pit Road right up through the entire race, including being able to walk through the pits before they start their engines. I think I peed a little just getting thaaaat clooooose. I'll have to post some pictures once my brain detoxes enough to figure out how to download off Joey's camera.

The people watching was primo. I think the only thing we didn't see were any transvestites, and probably because in that crowd it would have resulted in a serious ass-kicking. The other fun thing was standing down on pit road, we were camped out just watching all the pre-race action and these two young 20-something chicks were standing there obviously giving every female that walked by the hairy eyeball. I mean, there was no subtlety there at all - obviously this is a learned trait or something. So at one point, one of them turned to me to ask what time it was and she had this "WWJD?" pendant hanging around her neck. Y'all don't know how bad I wanted to tell her that Jesus wouldn't be giving chicks the evil eye. I mean, really, would he? Even if they had implants.

Monkey Man apparently had a blast at my parents' house. He went to church. Yes, hell has officially frozen over. He loved it. Then they went to two kids' museums, the veteran's cemetary for a Memorial Day service, and back to my parents' house. Oh, and a bird pooped on his head at the cemetary - I told him on the phone that it's supposed to be good luck, to which he replied, "Um, no it's not." Oh well, I tried. But I think my parents really enjoyed having him and he was an extra good boy for them. Not to mention he didn't drop the F-bomb at church, which earned him a little surprise when we got back.

So other than drinking way too much bourbon (and I mean like the equivalent of what a small European country would probably drink in a month's time), eating my weight in chicken wings and cheese dip, and almost sharting myself when Corby pulled a NASCAR-like maneuver to get us across 3 lanes of traffic into the hotel parking lot, it was a pretty damn good time.

Oh, and is it bad to hit on someone with the hopes that they'll invite you to go to an Indy race? Yeah, I was afraid of that. Oops.