Revenge is sweet

So what happens when I have to endure 12 hours of Forced In-Law Interaction on a beautiful Saturday when there is almost anything else on earth that I'd rather do?

I make the husband help me clean out my closet. It was a total disaster. And then he cleaned out his own closet.

I think I took eleven huge bags of clothes to Goodwill, threw out about four bags that weren't even fit to give to Goodwill. That in itself tells you how enormously pathetic my closet was. The best part was throwing out a bunch of size 16 stuff from my fat days. Very satisfying.

So how was the Forced In-Law Interaction, you ask? Well, it wasn't one of our worst visits, wasn't one of our best either. The most humorous part was when my enormously obese father-in-law told my husband (who could probably lose about 30 pounds but isn't obese by any stretch) that he was fat and needed to lose weight. And again, I ask you, how in the world can they wonder why we don't come and visit?


My mother-in-law and I almost ended up kanucking again over giving Monkey Man too much sugar. Yeah, I know that grandparents seem to have this sense of entitlement that it is their outright duty to juice the grandkids up with every sugary drink and candy under the planet and then send them home, but if I have to be trapped in a vehicle with said grandkid for two hours, I'll be damned if I'm going to let him be so hyped up on sugar that he can practically push the truck himself.

Last visit, we had left Monkey Man with the in-laws so that we could run into town and do some errands. While we were gone, she gave Monkey Man a Little Debbie snack cake and about a gallon of cherry Kool Aid. I hit the roof when we got back - first off, Little Debbie stuff is notorious for having nuts in it or being manufactured in the same area as other nut products - and of course, my brilliant mother-in-law hadn't saved the box or anything so we had no idea if he had eaten anything that he could have a reaction to or not. And then the Kool Aid. Why, oh why, do you give the kid cake and a sugary drink? How about some water or milk? Oh, I guess that would be too healthy.

So yesterday, when the husband and I got back from running into town, I caught her mixing up Kool Aid in the kitchen and I politely asked her not to give him any. He had already had ice cream and juice. And before she could say anything back to me, here came Monkey Man with a huge cup of cherry Kool Aid. "Well, he asked for it," she said. And I'll be damned, the only time he's ever had it was at HER house, he doesn't even know what the shit is. So I told her no more Kool Aid. She threw the rest of it down the drain.

Then, as I sat on the couch watching my kid buzz around the living room, she came in and asked him if he wanted cookies. I told her NO, he'd had enough. And that's when I got the old "Well, I'm his Granny and it's my job..." bullshit. It's a good thing we were walking out the door in 15 minutes, or I would've wacked her over the head with her fucking wooden spoon she was using to mix the damn Kool Aid with.

Ahem.

This would pretty much sum up my relationship with them. They have a sense of entitlement to everything about my husband's life and my son's life. I am a huge inconvenience to them. I could see my mother-in-law's visible disappointment when she saw me get out of the Pimp Mobile yesterday - she loves when I don't come because then she can do whatever she wants with my boys. And of course, the last time I didn't come visit, she was gossiping all over town that she thought maybe Joey and I were headed for divorce court because I hadn't come to visit in a while. She wishes.

So we left at 8 AM yesterday, and came rolling back into town about 8 PM. A long, long day.

Today we have eaten crap all day and I have cleaned closets with Joey's help. Monkey Man helped me tote the stuff to Goodwill and we have played in the yard, pulled some weeds, and he helped me with laundry. His little butt should be dragging by now. And lord, the food that child has eaten today would put a pro linebacker to shame. Methinks he's going through a growth spurt.

Off to hose him down. So, in summary, my closets are clean, my in-laws suck, and tomorrow is Monday. Hopefully next week will be a better week than last week was.