Not getting my hopes up

I've mentioned on here last year about this lady named Tina that works in our office and has an uncanny sense of fashion. It's bad. Really bad.

What I've discovered over the past year is that she really thinks that she is a fashion goddess and the rest of us are a bunch of schlubs that could really use her dressing advice. In other words, she wants to have her own 360-mirror like What Not to Wear does and torture all of us endlessly. This would be easy to take if she actually looked decent on a daily basis, but I digress.

Tina shares an office space with my friend Christine. Christine just turned 40 and is pretty hot looking (which is probably a direct result of all of the Hot Monkey Sex she has with her extremely hot boyfriend). However, it is Tina's humble opinion that Christine could use some serious help in the wardrobe department.

Jim and I caught wind today that apparently Tina wants to take Christine shopping and buy her an outfit. I can only imagine what this outfit would look like - one of her favorite looks from the bottom up would be white platform lace-up shoes (where does one find these?) with white socks. White pants. White belt (minimum 4" wide). White hoodie. Green t-shirt. Maybe a white baseball hat if she's feeling kind of kicky. And this would be a winter outfit. It is horrible.

So we've hatched a plan. Five of us will chip in $20 each into a pot for Christine to take on the shopping trip. That way, she can give Tina complete creative control without spending any of her own money.

And you know there's a catch to this. The catch is that one of us will get to go along on the shopping extravaganza. And then, Christine has to actually wear the outfit to work.

"My God," said Beth as we conferred about the ground rules for this excursion. "This could be good. I bet she will come back with huge white earrings to match her outfit!"

Christine was horrified. Then Jim offered to double the $100 if she would go. Of course, it does kind of suck that people are throwing money at her to get hideous clothes that she wouldn't wear to clean out a septic tank with. But that's the kind of people we are - we know entertainment when we see it, and we won't hesitate to pay whatever is necessary for the satisfaction of said entertainment.

So while it would be fabulous if she went, I doubt she'll go. No one wants to blow $100 of free money on shit, do they? Unless maybe, just maybe, she needs some white lace-up platform shoes for her summer wardrobe. Now that might be the ticket to convincing her.