Where is Waldo?

Or more accurately, where the hell have I been?

Um, I'm not sure. All I know is that it's been a busy, busy weekend. And I probably needed a teensy break from trying to figure out what to write, so for you guys it was a win-win situation.

So let's see...oh, yeah, Friday. Wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. As it turns out, EPOD ended up actually doing his cost projections all by his lonesome, which could be a win-win situation for me - because not only is he more self-sufficient, but maybe by some stroke of luck I'll get fired and then get some time off! Woo hoo! Anyhow, also had a great lunch down in an older part of the city at one of the well-known restaurants that I actually had never been to before. Of course, my stomach had been giving me trouble all last week and by the time I got back to the office I was a bloated, miserable mess. So what's the best way to relieve this pressure than go for a good colon-cleansing at the Japanese steakhouse! Yes! There is something about the food at that place that sends me and Joey running for the bathroom when we get home...so I was thinking that this was a brilliant idea and would get things kind of moving and get lunch on outta there but nooooo...so much for good intentions. On the other hand, the spicy tuna roll was exceptionally hot and yummy so it was all good. Well, other than feeling like I had a boulder stuck in my stomach. Egads.

Saturday was a long day. We had more shit going on than you could shake a stick at. We started off with breakfast at the Almighty House of the Waffle, then Joey took Monkey Man to get his hair cut clear on the other side of town while I went to Stein Mart and attempted to find a dress to wear to this fancy-schmancy gig we're headed to this coming weekend. After breaking down in tears in the dressing room because the only dresses they had were like a size 2 and all the separates made me look like a cow, I finally found a few things that might work. Let's put it to you this way - the tags are staying on and if I have a PMS moment on this trip, they might go back to the store. Then over to Target where a birthday present was procured for a birthday party for one of Monkey Man's friends that was at 1:30.

So after rushing home and feeding the troops (and showering, because there's no point showering before a trip to the Waffle Temple because you come out smelling like you've been dipped in bacon grease and cigarette smoke), Monkey Man and I departed for the birthday party. It was at this locally owned place that is somewhat similar to Little Gym or something like that - the place has a bunch of the huge inflatable jumpy things and then toys for the younger kids too.

We walked in the door of the place and I swear to God I broke out in a total panic attack. First of all, there was no way to monitor the kids and who was coming or going - I saw plenty of opportunities that some random person right off the street could've just paraded on in there and waltzed right out of there with a kid. Secondly, the grunge factor was just horrendous in my opinion. I may be spoiled with places like The Most Expensive Preschool on the Planet and The Little Gym, but this place was like literally being dipped right into a vat of strep throat. And lastly, there was no organized activity for the kids other than having cake and presents - it was a total free-for-all with the kids running wild along with all of the other paying customers (some of which were just the nastiest, snottiest looking kids you could imagine complete with matted hair and a stink like you wouldn't imagine). You know it's bad when all the other parents (including the fathers who got sucked into coming) are conferring about how quickly they can get home and drop the kids in a vat of Lysol. It was NASTY.

So after Germ Fest 2007, we rushed home and I threw Monkey Man in the bathtub and hosed him down with care. Then it was off to the mall to go to the sporting goods place where I stocked up on some weather-appropriate fitness gear - two pairs of running tights (actually one pair is going back because they are camel toe city, baby), two shirts, two sports bras, a new hat and some headbands for the Wayward 80's Bangs I've been sporting. Oh, and we went to the great Mexican place and got a few (ahem) cocktails with our dinner and Monkey Man wolfed down two huge chicken tacos. Then home to collapse.

And today, of course, Monkey Man woke up with green snotty nose. Damn you, filthy Birthday Place! Actually, when Joey made the trip to the Doc in the Box last night at 9:30 the doctor told him that most of what she's seeing are sinus infections because of the fucked up weather we've been having - 40 degrees last week, 70's this weekend. Fucked up, I tell you. So I called in our last remaining refill for Augmentin and hopefully he'll be a little less snotty tomorrow. And that's his nose I'm talking about, not his attitude. Heh.

Today involved me running 2 miles, weights, abs, and then running to the grocery store with Monkey Man to stock up on healthier food. My stomach was totally killing me last week and part of it is that I have been eating total shit for weeks on end now. So we have fruit! Vegetables! Whole grains! Oh, and a pot roast, because I totally can't go cold turkey, yo. Then I did three loads of laundry and as soon as I finish this post I'm going to straighten up the pantry because it looks like Costco literally threw up in there. It's bad.

What an exciting day - Laundry! Grocery Shopping! Cleaning of Pantries! Cooking of Pot Roast! Where will the madness stop?

Oh, and a little tip for ya - get on iTunes and download "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven. Awesome song. What I love about them the most - that the group formed in high school under the name of Rainbow Butt Monkey. Gotta love that.