Another day comes to an end here at Builder Mama Headquarters. Today was a good day. Good because not only did I have a wonderful dinner tonight with two good friends, but I got drunk at lunchtime today.
Drinking at lunchtime should really become a regular part of my day. Because even as much of a downer as EPOD was today, he was actually kind of cute and amusing when I had a good buzz going on. I really think this is something I should probably bring up at my next performance review - what do you think?
Today, my counterparts in the office had decided to have a holiday lunch out. Every year they try and have one, and it usually goes down in flames because we have a bunch of pussies that either don't want to go or they don't like where we're going or they don't want to participate in the gift exchange. Well, whatever. So out of like 10 of us, four ended up going and we had fun. Especially once I convinced the waiter to put our alcohol on a separate check so that we could expense the rest of the lunch on the company and not get in trouble for having a little liquid lubricant with that company-subsidized lunch. Genius, I tell you!
Tonight was the dinner that was supposed to be for the wives of both Joey's business partners and for the wives of these salespeople that sell the company most of their materials. I've known most of these ladies for years, but you know...when ya get a bunch of women together, something is going to go horribly awry.
The main partner, M, is married to his third wife that for the sake of simplicity (and honesty) I'll call Hobag. Hobag is nothing but a white-trash skank who happened to hit the lottery by marrying someone with some money. She was a career waitress at one of the biggest dive restaurants in the city, and once she got her claws into M he ended up leaving his very classy and lovely wife for Hobag. Put it to you this way - this shows how little class the bitch has - when we were in Las Vegas, we were eating at this fabulous four-star restaurant where the service was impeccable, and she had the balls to complain that the service was poor. This, coming from a woman who waited tables in a dive bar for over 11 years....
Anyhoo, Hobag has issues with some of the other ladies in the group because they went to high school with her and they know her sordid past. Apparently she was quite the slutella in her 20's and had a pretty serious drug problem for years, yet she tries to act like she shits silver spoons and had tea with the Queen just last week. So when I was planning this dinner (which by the way was all her fucking idea) she started throwing around demands about who wasn't allowed to be invited to attend dinner.
I'm easy going. I'm easy to get along with. I like to keep the peace. And unless you've committed some egregious act to me or my family, I'll pretty much give you the benefit of the doubt every time. Well, I don't like playing these childish high school games about "oh, don't invite HER" and stuff like that. However, if Hobag is upset, then M is upset, and it has a horrible trickle-down effect on the rest of us. As in, M makes everyone miserable for weeks.
So, I acquiesced and went by Hobag's rules for who could and couldn't come.
And you know what?
The bitch didn't show up. I found out at 8:30 this morning by asking someone else that she'd decided not to come, and she didn't actually call me until 3:30 to let me know personally.
I'm through. I'm over it. She can seriously bite my fucking ass.
On the good side, even though we had a few people cancel due to sick kids or being sick themselves, I ended up having dinner with Yvonne and Debbie who are two of my oldest friends and who I really wanted to spend time with in the first place. So in some karmic way, it all worked out.
And of course, I came home to a snoozing Monkey Man and then proceeded to have a few more drinks with Marie while we gossiped about things at The Most Expensive Preschool in the Planet. So yeah, I'm feeling pretty good.
Although...I went to see Bobby today to get cut and color and my hair is a little too red. As in something like Bozo might prefer. Okay, maybe not that bad, but I sure as hell hope that it tones down by Christmas, otherwise Santa might think my head is a glowing target. Egads.
And in tomorrow's episode, highlights from my office Christmas Party. Past highlights have included someone smashing in a car window, someone having sex on their boss' desk, and random hook-ups. And that's just what I did last year.
Just kidding. I think it was two years ago.
5 comments:
You are a better woman than I! I had two pomegranate margaritas at our dept lunch on Wednesday, I had to go home and lay down. When did I become SUCH a light weight!
Glad that dinner turned well.
Shit - that's quite a day! I'll be impressed if the office party can keep up!
Hobag, that's too funny. I'm guessing that she lets M do things with his penis that wife No.2 did not. Thats the only reason I can see for dropping a classy woman for well, not. (given the super simplified report of his marital status anyway.) I agree with ya on drinks at lunch, it should be mandatory, unless you are driving, then you can substitute a bong. It just makes dealing with other people so much more entertaining if not productive. After all is is not the relationship building that is important?
Ha ha g-man, the ironic part is that "building relationships" is our company's catchphrase du jour. I like to say "building relationships over a gallon of vodka or two." Much more effective.
Oh indeed, there is nothing quite like the bond of shared embarrassment (or lack of memory and potential embarrassment) to cut through the bullshit of false pleasantries and get right to immediate corporate intimacy and cooperation.
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