It's Friiiiiidaaaaaayyy

One way to spend a Friday night

I ended up back at the Doc in the Box again tonight. That damn tightness/wheezing thing in my chest is back and I was worried that the bronchitis wasn't completely gone, so I went back for more torture.

Two hours later I scored a free month's worth of Advair which hopefully will finally get this shit outta my right lung. And I got to see first hand the freak show in the waiting room. My question is - why on earth does it require an entire freaking family to come to the urgent care place? I am serious, it's like a freaking spectator sport or something...every time I go in there, there will be families of four or five people in there when only one person is sick - and it's usually one of the adults (with the spouse and kids and grandma and grandpa and whoever the hell else they can cram into the Yugo and bring over there).

Leave the family at home, people. There aren't enough copies of Us Magazine for all of us, so leave their asses at home.

*****

Show and tell hell

This week at The Most Expensive Preschool in the Universe, it was the Letter H week. And for show and tell, Monkey Man was asked to bring something that began with the letter H. And being a boy, and since Power Rangers don't begin with H, he picked a Hot Wheels Enzo Ferrari to bring in. What can I say, the kid takes after his mom in the expensive taste department.

So tonight he was telling us all about how pissed he was that his buddy brought in HotShot, one of the Transformers, and all the kids liked the HotShot toy the best. So in an effort to divert him from obsessing over it, I asked him what the girls brought for the letter H....

"Well, the girls bring silly dolls and stuffed animals. Except for Lindsey. She brought handcuffs."

Oh. My. God.

I will be seriously keeping an eye on Miss Thang for the rest of the year. I can hardly wait to see what she brings in for either the letter D or V.

*****

I'm on fire

So the other night, we were taken out by one of Joey's suppliers to a nice seafood restaurant that happens to have kickass martinis.

Did I mention that they have kickass martinis?

Before I knew it, I had sucked down 3 lemon drop martinis before the appetizer even came. I was on fire, people - I was cracking jokes, flirting, talking smack, and just having a good time. You know it's bad when the guys tell your husband that he should bring you along more often because you're so much fun. Good thing I didn't get into flashing anyone, or they'd probably ask Joey to stay home and send me from now on.

But the problem was that halfway through dinner I had to pee. And then realized I was so tipsy that I didn't think I could walk to the restroom on the slick wood floors without falling and busting my ass.

I managed. I think I looked relatively cool, gliding past tables and discreetly running my hand along the tops of the chairs to keep my balance. But when you're that shitfaced, you always think you look cool, don't you?

*crickets*

Uh, okay. I'll behave myself next time. Maybe.