Grab bag

If I worked at Dick's Sporting Goods on Monday, I'd shoot myself

Monkey Man has needed some new shoes for about a week, so we packed up in the car yesterday and headed to The Big Mall which has a fabulous shoe store and the best selection of kids' shoes in the city.

Of course, if you don't have kids or don't have school-age kids, you forget that Labor Day Weekend is the weekend that everyone runs out and buys all the crap they've put off until the last minute. The mall was a total madhouse but we braved it anyway and got Monkey Man some jammin' new shoes.

Mama needed new shoes too - I had bought some kickin' Nikes a few weeks back, but the heel design kept rubbing on my achilles tendon and was annoying the shit out of me (not to mention leaving blisters) so it was back to the store to see if anyone made running shoes without that annoying heel. Turns out that Adidas is the only one making the heels the way I can wear them, so I got a new pair - and on sale! Yippee!!!

Anyhow, I was knee-deep in rugrats in Dick's when I noticed this really annoying woman with her son who was talking to the salesperson like he was an idiot...just really talking down to him in this very demeaning manner. Meanwhile, her two older kids (and I'm talking probably 8th grade and 10th grade agewise) were literally running at breakneck speed through the store and almost knocking people over, then arguing over who was faster and why. I was waiting for the salesman to bring me the shoes I'd picked out, and was getting more and more annoyed at the older kids being so wild while the mother was just an annoying bitch.

I started walking through the sales racks of shoes when a man bumped into me - immediately I noticed the powerful stench of alcohol emanating from every pore in his body. I mean damn, it was only 11:30 in the morning and this wasn't morning-after funk, if you know what I mean.

Turns out he was the husband of the annoying woman and father of the kids. So I totally excuse him drinking at 11:30 AM, because if I had to put up with that shit I'd be self-medicating a lot too.

*****

Eeyore leaving Pooh Corner?

Apparently, my boss Eeyore was quite busy while I was away. He was interviewing with a large national construction firm which made him a job offer.

He turned it down. And dropped that little bomb in my lap today before he scooted out of the office to a meeting. Later on, I asked him why he turned the job down - and as it turns out, the company had bought out a firm he worked for almost 15 years, and then he was shut out on any buyout deal when they decided to sell the firm back to a group of guys that worked there. Basically, they screwed him over and now he doesn't trust them at all.

"And you know," he said, "I don't know that I would be happy anywhere."

Eeyore has never made a statement as true as that. Oh, bother.

*****

Movin' on up

I'm saving the best news for last. Dad will be leaving the hospital tomorrow and headed to the rehabilitation center...and as luck would have it, he got into the best one in town so he will have good care (we hope).

You could hear the excitement in his voice today over the phone. "Yep, this is one step closer to getting home," he said, "and getting some good food. This stuff here is just not very good."

Like I said before, it's all about the food in our family. Anyhow, he's doing well with his physical therapy and getting stronger every day, so I'm hoping and praying that it will be a short stay in rehab.

I've had a hard time lately getting excited, because it seems like just as we're taking a step forward, something happens to knock him two steps back. It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop. But a little part of me is about to burst with happiness, knowing that he's taking such a huge step compared to a week ago.

He makes me believe in miracles.