A more accurate title would be just The Five Dwarfs of Drunkenness. Snow White was definitely nowhere to be found yesterday afternoon. That bitch.
Did you ever notice when you get a group of friends together and alcohol is involved, suddenly personalities are revealed that you either totally would expect or throw you for a loop?
In attendance at Drunkfest 2006 yesterday afternoon at my neighborhood pool:
Happy Drunk Dwarf: “Let’s get in the pool! Hey, can we get in the pool now? Where’s the cooler? Anyone want a drink? How about some chips? Taco dip? Margarita anyone? Who wants to get in the pool?”
Angry Drunk Dwarf: “Why the f*ck won’t my damn husband answer the phone? I need him to pick up our daughter from daycare. (She tries again at least three more times to no answer…) Bastard! I bet he’s fishing. Oh look, he’s calling now…I think I won’t answer it. He’s really pissing me off.”
Crying Drunk Dwarf: “He hasn’t talked to me in two weeks. What am I going to do if he never talks to me again other than to ask what’s for dinner?”
Love Muffin Drunk Dwarf: “I love you guys. Seriously, I really love you guys. Love you!”
Horny Drunk Dwarf: “Did y’all see that guy over there? He’s hot. How old do you think he is? Maybe 22? Yeah, he’s hot. Look at that tattoo on his back. Damn. Damn I wish I was like 22 again because now I just feel like a dirty old lady.”
Yeah, we had a good time – so good that I finally had to kick their asses out so I could go have dinner with my poor husband on his birthday. I’m hoping we can do it again in a few weeks before the pool closes for the season.
So much fun should be oh so wrong.