Pieces parts

Back from the long weekend…more about that in another post, but for now it’s catch-up time.

Joanie loves Chachi

My coworker Chachi is got married on Saturday. And, in typical Chachi fashion, the last time that I saw him last Wednesday he was a total mess.

I’ll call his fiancée Joanie just because it’s way too easy. Apparently he met her in a bar when they were in college and they’ve been together several years. Last spring he finally got sick of the nagging and proposed. Well, he saw it as nagging – whereas I saw it as a poor girl who had been dating this schlub for years and was sick of waiting around. Anyhow, he ended up taking the job with our company and moved to our city, while she stayed in her teaching job about 2 hours away with plans to move here this summer.

The wedding took place in her hometown in Florida. To add to the pressure of the wedding, her father is suffering from terminal liver disease and there was speculation from his doctors that he wouldn’t survive through the weekend. Chachi has been really struggling the last two weeks with work, supporting Joanie through her father’s illness, and the wedding itself.

He asked me about a week ago if I would give him a lift to the airport. Since our airport built a bunch of fancy parking decks several years ago, you practically have to donate a vital organ to park there longer than a few hours so I was more than happy to do it for him. As we were riding to the airport, he was talking about the upcoming wedding and how much he was looking forward to the honeymoon and some decompression time. We pulled up in front of the terminal and I helped him get his bags out of the car. He gave me an enormous hug…

Me: Hey dude, good luck on Saturday. I’ll be thinking about you guys.

Chachi: Thanks, man. I’ll just be so glad when it’s all over.

Me: What time is the wedding?

Chachi: (with a face as white as a ghost) Um, I have no freaking idea. I know it’s Saturday, though.

Me: Okay, you might want to check on that when you get down there, huh?

Scary, isn’t it? Anyhow, I hope everything went well and the two of them have a wonderful day. He really is a great guy. I just pray to the powers that be that he made it on time, because I think Joanie would seriously kick his ass.

*****

Makeup whore

You know you’re in trouble when you walk into the makeup section of a department store and the salespeople know your name.

As Jen will attest, I am a total Philosophy whore. Their skincare stuff seriously is the best I have ever used. And no thanks to Jen, now I have splurged on some different Clinique foundation from what I usually use in addition to some other Philosophy crap that she got the other weekend. Oh, and did I mention seeing the Philosophy lady last weekend on QVC talking about their Amazing Grace body lotion so I also bought a huge vat of that too? The stuff is totally amazing – it has this great clean scent to it instead of smelling like powder/fruit/baked goods/something Grandma would wear. Even Joey, who is totally clueless about all things high-maintenance, said “your skin looks good”. That is the highest form of compliment that he has and I'm going to take it.

All I have to say is that if I get a Christmas card from either of those ladies at Nordstrom, I am going to get professional help.

*****

Guess that naughty act

Joey surprised me with tickets to see my favorite group Def Leppard. Y’all know I am just a total Def Lep head if there ever was one. I have been listening to their greatest hits album for several months now and there is this song on Disc 2 that in my opinion is about 1 minute too short to be the best pole dancing song ever. Yeah, if it was longer than 3 minutes it’d probably be a top pick for strippers everywhere. What a pity.

The question is – what do you think the word Slang stands for? I have my own theories but I’d love to hear what y’all think…and yeah, I know I'm pathetic for spending more than 2.7 seconds analyzing this song. So shoot me.

Slang

Sittin' dark getting taken 'cause I said
Something lewd in a low down accent
Yeah yeah yeah
Kinda love those eyes
I wanna get down honey
But I ain't your guy
I'll rap 'n' ruck 'n' jam it up
But count me out
Cause all I ever wanna get is slang

Slang with me, I don't wanna get my hands dirty
Slang with me, I just wanna get soakin' wet
Slang with me, I don't wanna get my hands dirty
All I ever wanna get is slang

What's affectin' my condition
What's about to knock you down
Said wrapped 'n' bound and a goddamn
I'd love to get connected but it's outta my hand
I'll rap 'n' ruck 'n' jam it up
But count me out
Cause all I ever wanna get is slang

Slang with me, I don't wanna get my hands dirty
Slang with me, I just wanna get soakin' wet
Slang with me, I don't wanna get my hands dirty
All I ever wanna get is slang

It's my intention to be your obsession
(Mi pasion, mi obsesion)
(Queria que eastuvieras conmigo)
It's my obsession to be your addiction

Uno, dos, tres, quatros

Slang with me, I don't wanna get my hands dirty
Slang with me, I just wanna get soakin' wet
Slang with me, I don't wanna get my hands dirty
All I ever wanna get is
Slang with me, I don't wanna get my hands dirty
Slang with me, I just wanna get soakin' wet
Slang with me, I don't wanna get my hands dirty
All I ever wanna get is slang

*****

Hope y'all had a fan-freaking-tastic weekend. Off to pick up a huge pizza and then strap myself to the treadmill to sweat out the weekend debauchery.