Sunday, March 12, 2006

The mullet is alive and well

A few months ago, we were hanging out with our friends M. and L. and after about 10,000 beers we started talking about concerts we'd been to when we were growing up. The list was pretty amusing to say the least - I mean, does anyone actually remember The Hooters? Whatever happened to those guys, anyway? I had seen in the newspaper that Motley Crue was coming to our city in the early springtime so in my alcohol-fueled craze I went online and purchased six tickets. Four of us, six do the math. Not a good idea to drink and make online purchases. But everyone was super excited and vows were made to wear leather pants and use lots of Aqua Net.

But time passed, and M. left our company and as "work friends" do we haven't kept in touch as much as we thought we would. A few weeks ago he called to check in and I asked if he and L. were still up for the concert - and I got one of his typical non-committal "Um, well, I'm not sure." Not surprising considering our past history with them, which involves last-minute cancellations because of some typically lame excuse. So instead of waiting around for him to give me the final word, I told him it was fine and we'd get some other friends to go. And the world was good.

Or so I thought. Finding people to go to a concert of a semi-washed up 80's hair band isn't as easy as you might think. People either love or hate the Crue and depending who I asked I either got the wrinkled-up nose, or a "Duuuude, I am so there....but my wife is making me go to some stupid thing at the art museum. Bummer." Eventually, our group became my brother-in-law K., his new girlfriend S., one of Joey's business partners R., and his fiancee M. A fun group which was good because group events always make me a little nervous, especially when you throw a bunch of construction people together. Either everyone's going to get together, have a few drinks, and a great night will be had by all - or there's drinking, fighting, and various other things that I won't go into but might involve law enforcement.

The concert was pretty damn good. First of all, it was so freaking loud that our ears are still ringing today. Our seats were great - right in the middle in about the 20th row, so we escaped them throwing water and some buckets of colored liquid all over us. Vince Neil still has most of his voice, Nikki Sixx still looks like he did back in the early days, and Tommy Lee was throwing down. At one point they hooked him to a cable and flew him over the audience to two remote platforms where he had homemade drum kits and was jamming out on those. He might be a freak but I think he is a very talented musician. Nick Mars is pretty pathetic - he can play the hell out of the guitar still, but he is physically a wreck and could barely walk off the stage after the concert was over and had to be assisted by some of the pole dancers. Oh, did I mention the pole dancers and the porn clips being flashed up on the screen? I guess when you're in the geriatric crowd of rockers, you have to resort to other things if your guitarist can't jump up on the speakers anymore.

The highlight of the night was just the people watching. Joey and I are huge people watchers so the parade of concertgoers was entertaining to say the least. You had a few die-hard female fans who were decked out in top hats and the dark eye makeup (although I was thinking they looked like they should've been at an Alice Cooper show), but for the most part it was a mix of college kids who probably only came because of that show "Tommy Lee Goes to College" that was on last year, a smattering of "normal" mid-30's and 40's people who were probably fans back in the Crue's heyday, and then your typical crowd that some people like to call rednecks. Now, I have nothing against rednecks - heck, after I moved South into a very small town, I realized that you must accept the Southern American Redneck or the dating pool is severely limited. And damn, rednecks know how to throw down and party, and I'm all about that. But their choice of dress and hairstyles is somewhat unfortunate.

The collection of mullets was impressive to say the least, both of the male and female variety. If I'd had a camera, I would've submitted some of them here. Impressive indeed.

So a fun night was had by all. No law enforcement intervention required, which means it was a huge success. Oh, and no one in our group wore leather pants or used Aqua Net...but I did use some new mousse and poofed my hair just a liiiitttle bit higher. Hey, ya gotta be true to your Inner Crue.

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